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“BUT IT MAKES ME FEEL BETTER” (opens in new window/tab)

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  1. I really don’t like it when people hold doors open for me. I mean, I don’t need help opening a door, any more than I need help pushing a water fountain button or flushing a toilet. On top of that, if I’m twenty feet out from the door and someone does the door holding thing, then I feel this need to hurry, because they’re standing there, straining with a door in their hand and every step I take, I feel indebted to their drawn out polite gesture. Plus, when its another dude, it just seems queer. I mean, old ladies, sure, hold the door. Handicapped people, sure hold the door. A girl that’s hot and you just want her to notice you, go ahead, maybe it will lead to something. But the rest of you people, stop holding the goddamn door.
    Wow, that topic really must have stuck a nerve. I could go on and on and on all night. There’s so many sociological and psychological facets and nuances to holding doors.
    Although sometimes, I do feel kind of bad when I let a door swing shut, just at the moment that someone is walking up to it. I mean, espicially if it slams really hard. That seems kind of mean and rude. And symbolically, hell spiritually, its liked I’ve slammed the door of life and humanity in their face. That could be just the straw that breaks the camel’s back to that person’s emotional health,and they might go off and buy and AK-47 and shoot up a whole door factory.
    So anyway, I’m home alone again tonight. Watched a little bit of the Terminator on Tv. I’m a very good dancer. Very good dancer. I’m a very good dancer.

    Comment by mark michaels — 09/14/2004 @ 08:52:20 PM

  2. I usually just do the old ‘turn -n- bounce’. That is, I turn back a little bit, to acknowledge that someone is there, then instead of letting the door close all the way, I give it that little extra ‘bounce’, so it stays open a second longer. Most of the time it doesn’t stay open long enough for the person to get to it, but you’ve recognized that they exist, but you haven’t obligated them by standing there waiting for them to come through.

    Its fair to say I mostly just do this with guys. If its a woman, I usually hold it open, unless they have flattops and are wearing lumberjack style flannel shirts. Then I just give ‘em the ‘turn -n- bounce’.

    I usually am pretty polite to waitpeople, cashiers and even fast food workers, and I used to think this might get me some politeness in return, but it never really does. Courtesy is dead. Thats why all service jobs will eventually be replaced by robots.

    Uh oh, better not start that tangent again. Though halloween is coming again..

    Comment by The Belt — 09/14/2004 @ 10:29:48 PM

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