Population Statistic: Read. React. Repeat.
Saturday, March 15, 2021

To raise the $75,000 necessary to make her next album, former one-hit wonder Jill “I Kissed A Girl” Sobule came up with a novel idea: Asking for telethon-like contributions ranging from $5 to $10,000, which net back anything from a free digital download of the completed album all the way up to the opportunity to sing on the record with Jill.

The Web-driven goal was reached and then some, with $80 thou as the grand total. Not bad for someone who was fishing around for ideas on this back in September.

That’s still a pretty lengthy fundraising cycle. Jill could have expedited the process by, say, fucking the governor of New York. That seems to be working for the now-infamous Ashley Alexandra Dupré, who’s outing as Eliot Spitzer’s “Kristen” call-girl is apparently parlaying into spiked popularity for her budding singing career.

Although I question how valid that claim is. From what I can see, you can listen to Dupré’s two songs on Amie Street all you want without buying the tracks. Does that translate to the “popularity” that’s boosting their price? I’m doubting that many people are actually coughing up money here.

Still, it’s exposure, and radio stations are warming up to the songs. Dupré might just be on her way to bigger musical fame and fortune than Sobule will ever achieve, without the begging for money part.

by Costa Tsiokos, Sat 03/15/2008 07:25pm
Category: Internet, Pop Culture, Women
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Tuesday, March 11, 2021

Here’s a cute local sports media maneuver: To coincide with this week’s rebranding of the Fox Sports New York (FSNY) to MSG Plus, the channel’s Islanders pre- and post-game host Deb Kaufman is taking the opportunity to rechristen her own on-air handle.

“It’s something I’ve always wanted to do; there just never seemed to be a good time to do it,” she said. “Since the network was changing its name…”

Well, why not? Starting with tonight’s Islanders-Lightning game, Deb Kaufman will be Deb Placey, her name in her non-work life for the 13 years since she married Ed Placey, a senior coordinating producer for ESPN college football…

She does not plan a formal announcement but figures [Isles announcers] Howie Rose and Billy Jaffe will take care of spreading the news.

Actually, she did make the announcement on the air, during the pregame show. I’m sure many Islanders fans hearts were broken upon hearing that Deb is already hitched; I suppose they could start drooling over competing NHL television MILF Christine Simpson on Versus.

It’s worth noting that MSG Network has not caught up on this development, as it still lists her as Deb Kaufman on her bio page. Rebranding is always a tough row to hoe.

by Costa Tsiokos, Tue 03/11/2021 10:18pm
Category: New Yorkin', SportsBiz, TV, Women
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Thursday, March 06, 2021

After years of going nowhere in challenging Google, Ask.com is throwing in the towel by niche-ing itself into a women-focused search engine.

Talk about a solution in search of a problem. It’s not like women are complaining that Google or Yahoo! aren’t meeting their Web researching needs. Granted, such a need can be manufactured via deft marketing and reliable technology; but as ubiquitous as Google is in this space, it’s going to be a tall order.

Basically, Ask.com is trying to cash in as quickly as it can, and since women are its chief demographic, that’s where it can have its greatest short-term ad-selling success. There’s no real strategy for the future beyond that.

And just to keep things straight: Ask.com has gone from its old Ask Jeeves manservant mascot — a somewhat masculine symbol — to a female makeover which, I presume, is going to include lots of soft colors and even flowery graphics. Quite the transformation.

by Costa Tsiokos, Thu 03/06/2021 10:54pm
Category: Business, Internet, Women
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Monday, December 24, 2021

To counter the idea that natural childbirth is so painful that it sours a woman on ever having sex again, here’s the kinky-ish pitch behind the upcoming documentary film Orgasmic Birth:

Joyous, sensuous, revolutionary: Orgasmic Birth captures stunning moments of women riding waves of pleasure in the ecstatic release of childbirth.

I half expect this one to be released by Vivid Video

But in reality, this in-production flick seems to be a thinly-veiled sexualized approach to promoting midwifery.

Actually, there’s a porn-flick plot right there: A woman keeps having babies just to feel the sexual rush. Girl-on-girl with the midwife, afterbirth instead of afterglow… I’m sure there’s a fetish niche out there that will gawk away.

by Costa Tsiokos, Mon 12/24/2007 07:18pm
Category: Women
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Sunday, December 02, 2021

All congratulations due (I guess) to the newly-crowned Miss World 2007, Zhang Zilin of the People’s Republic of China.

Zhang’s victory was doubly impressive because a) She’s the first Chinese winner in the history of the pageant, and b) The show was held in China this year, amounting to a home-team triumph.

All that said…

Anyone else think her hands and fingers are unnaturally long/large? Maybe they’re accentuated that way by the extreme skinniness of her near-nonexistent wrists and forearms. She’s still a beauty, but when I saw that video of her blowing kisses and waving to the crowd, those flapping hands looked really weird.

by Costa Tsiokos, Sun 12/02/2021 10:26pm
Category: Celebrity, Women
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Wednesday, November 28, 2021

power eggerI guess Britney Spears set the baby-belly-baring bar last year, so naturally Christina Aguilera couldn’t help but respond in kind, smack on the front of the upcoming January issue of Marie Claire.

Which one is the pop-tartiest? Dead heat, I say. As always, it’s the children who ultimately suffer.

Speaking of which, I have an inkling of Baby Aguilera’s name-to-be:

“We were planning on starting to try after the tour. And so, I had gone off the Pill to prepare my body, because I didn’t know how much time it would take. You’ve heard it takes some time — except with Power Egg and Super Sperm here,” she says. “… I’m like, `Oh my god, can you believe it just happened?’”

Power Egg and Super Sperm. I like it — sounds like some kind of superhero tandem. And if you make an acronym out of it, you get Pess. Which is no goofier a celebr-baby name than Apple, Shiloh, Suri, etc.

by Costa Tsiokos, Wed 11/28/2007 10:39pm
Category: Celebrity, Publishing, Women
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Sunday, November 04, 2021

Cosmopolitan Magazine has spoken, and as always I listen: A new survey finds that most New York women classify themselves as “go-for-it girls” who are fine with casual hook-ups and no-commitment relationships.

“The go-for-it girl is certainly something we see a lot in New York, because it really resonates with who New Yorkers are,” [research firm Intelligence Group president Jane] Buckingham said. “They’re the women who really can do anything, who embrace who they are. They feel strong, confident.”

Ninety-six percent of the go-for-it girls feel they can have a fulfilling life if they don’t get married. That’s drastically different from housewife hopefuls, who mostly live in the South. Nearly half of them said their lives won’t be complete until they get hitched.

The implication, of course, is that the women who have no problem with indefinite singlehood are in better shape, self-esteem wise, than those Southern gals pining for a wedding ring. It points to an exoneration of self-centeredness over traditional mating-for-life impulses.

As a relationship free-agent myself, I’m going to have to go along with that ride. And invite the local ladies to, yes, go for it — I think I can handle it.

by Costa Tsiokos, Sun 11/04/2021 10:53pm
Category: New Yorkin', Women
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Wednesday, October 24, 2021

Fellow Traveler: I met her outside Lucky Cheng’s. She was having her smoke break.
Me: Lucky Cheng’s? You’re sure she was a “she”?
FT: Yeah yeah, no question. Asian, hot.
Me: Okay, if you say so.
FT: I started talking to her, asked her what she was doing after work. She was interested, definitely interested.
Me: Good.
FT: Then, I said to her, “Just so you know up front: I’m just divorced, and I don’t have a dime to my name.” And just like that, like a switch, she shut down. It was over.
Me: Uh…?
FT: So that’s a sure-fire way to turn them off, just tell them you’re broke.
Me: A stage dancer at Lucky Cheng’s? Probably not representative of the general woman population.
FT: I just know that now, I know how to keep them away.
Me: I think you’re mis-directing your energy. No one’s looking for extra ways to repel the ladies. It’s not like I’m lacking in ways to get shot down!
FT: I’m just sayin’.
Me: Well, thanks for that advice…

by Costa Tsiokos, Wed 10/24/2007 11:04pm
Category: Comedy, New Yorkin', Women
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Saturday, October 20, 2021

ribbon & blues
As prevalent as those pink ribbons have become — especially in the form of corporate-branded merchandise — it was inevitable that someone would start asking just how much of that donated money is really going into breast cancer research.

On the forefront of this “pinklash” is Breast Cancer Action, which argues that the pink ribbon movement has devolved into pointless consumerism that benefits bottom lines more than a search for a cure.

Or worse, that provides cover for some business practices. Through its Think Before You Pink campaign, BCA is targeting “pinkwashers”:

Pinkwasher: (pink’-wah-sher) noun. A person or company that purports to care about breast cancer by promoting a pink ribbon campaign, but manufactures products that are linked to the disease.

I’ve regularly dropped a few bucks for ribbons, wristbands, charity walks, etc. I’d find it hard to refuse these token requests, just on the basis of misgivings over corporate ulterior motives. All large charity organizations get hit by flak over how they administer their funding, and indeed, they regularly come due for re-boot over procedure. This assault on the pink brigades is probably timely, so if it winds up refocusing the cause, all the better.

by Costa Tsiokos, Sat 10/20/2007 05:38pm
Category: Society, Women
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Thursday, October 18, 2021

A couple of days ago, a fellow consultant emailed me during work hours with a simple request: To call her, so that she could find where cellphone was hiding.

As soon as I read the email, I broke out in a big smile. Because I’d been through this scenario before.

I didn’t wind up breaking up with anyone this time around, though. And the phone was recovered within seconds, so I didn’t come off as a jerk. Wonders abound.

by Costa Tsiokos, Thu 10/18/2007 10:36pm
Category: Comedy, Tech, Women
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Wednesday, October 10, 2021

Apparently, NBC Universal’s $925-million acquisition of Oxygen Media is being considered a bargain, valuation-wise:

Derek Baine, a media analyst for SNL Kagan who had estimated the value of the channel at about $1.1 billion, told The New York Times on Tuesday, “When you look at the comparable prices and the historical benchmarks, you would have to say NBC made a great deal.”

He noted that NBC was paying only $12 a subscriber for Oxygen, which has about 74 million subscribers. It paid $22 a subscriber for Bravo in 2002, when that channel had 54 million subscribers.

“NBC paid $1.3 billion for Bravo,” Mr. Baine told The Times. “There was a lot of skepticism about that deal when NBC made it. But Bravo now generates over $150 million a year in cash flow.” He estimated that Oxygen could soon generate about $100 million in cash flow for NBC.

Analysts should keep that in mind, considering this is NBC’s second swipe at buying its way into synergistic women’s-targeted media. And since their first attempt, when they bought iVillage, was a floundering failure, I’d expect the Peacock to flub this try too, thus creating negative compensation for the relatively low price they’re paying. As well as demonstrating that NBC just doesn’t know how to communicate with women.

by Costa Tsiokos, Wed 10/10/2021 11:56pm
Category: Business, Media, Women
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Tuesday, September 04, 2021

ahoy
I think it’s unavoidable: Body art that’s located on a woman’s breast(s) is rightly dubbed a tittoo.

I mean, there’s even an equation behind it:

Tit + tattoo = tittoo.

So that makes it nice and logical, I guess.

Despite my appreciation for women’s breasts, this strategic placement doesn’t alter my general distaste for tattoos. I mean, it’s not like I need an extra excuse for sneaking a peek…

by Costa Tsiokos, Tue 09/04/2021 11:09pm
Category: Women, Wordsmithing
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Wednesday, August 15, 2021

douchedudeAs the Web continues to mature into a more robust and polished media outlet, it’s downright refreshing to know that Hot Chicks with Douchebags carries on in the spirit of Web 1.0 text-and-still-photo snarkiness.

The classics never die, mon.

I think it’s funny that, despite the ordering of the two elements in the blog’s title, there’s far more focus on the douchebags (and their caught-in-the-act douchebaggery) than on the hot chicks. It’s something of a case of misplaced priorities, but completely understandable. After all, you can ogle a picture of an attractive woman without much editorial assistance; but can you come up with the fashion descriptor “cactus hair and amoeba mandana” on your own? Of course not.

All I know is that, the next time I get my photo taken alongside a pretty lady, I’m going to obsessively check HCwDB for the next several days afterward…

by Costa Tsiokos, Wed 08/15/2007 11:42pm
Category: Bloggin', Comedy, Women
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Sunday, August 05, 2021

I’m amused by how easily influenced I can be by some random opinion. Like this one by Schad, involving the origin and ulterior motive behind the current rage in women’s accessorized eyewear:

Ladies, I’m sick of the oversized shades. Besides just looking dumb, they make every woman look alike. I’m convinced that Paris Hilton began, or at least helped establish the trend of the big, bordering on grandma-Solar Shield-sized sunglasses because her face is so busted. The more of her face that’s covered, the better she looks.

Sure enough, after reading the above blog post, I cannot take notice of this look without thinking: I wonder what facial flaws she’s concealing. So thanks for that, Schad — one more thing to obsess about regarding the opposite sex.

Actually, I thought Paris’ fellow Simple Lifer Nicole Richie was the one synonymous with the goggle-like headgear. Although I guess even she’s diversifying her retro-shades look.

by Costa Tsiokos, Sun 08/05/2021 02:07pm
Category: Fashion, Women
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Sunday, July 29, 2021

trekkie
How is it that Globe Trekker TV host Megan McCormick is not a big-time TV star yet?

I mean, look at her. She’s cute as all get-out and the camera loves her. Plus, apparently she’ll eat anything. All the ingredients for a television celebrity!

Globe Trekker is obviously positioning her as the main draw for the series. I admit, I’m fairly hooked on the show — but pretty much only when she’s the host. Her segments have a underlying comedic touch half the time, a real fish-out-of-water quality that’s engaging. In fact, her interactions with the exotic locales she highlights inspire me to take a stab at a full-fledged comedy series about a blunter ugly-American travelogue show, featuring deadpan un-PC behavior by a clueless on-camera personality.

Not that that should detract from McCormick’s charms. I like her way more than, for instance, that spastic Amanda Congdon. If we’re comparing New York-based niche-video personalities.

by Costa Tsiokos, Sun 07/29/2007 10:24am
Category: Celebrity, TV, Women
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Tuesday, July 17, 2021

see?As you can tell from the visual aid at left, wearing the amazing C-string invisible underwear is all about strategic placement. And pubic-hair management, for aesthetic purposes.

That’s only if you’re showing it off. If you plan on wearing this wired thong underneath your streetclothes, be prepared for a wild ride:

Dressed in hipster jeans I wander gingerly downstairs. Already the pants are chafing. I rapidly realise that hipsters are the wrong item of clothing for the C-string.

I take the children to the park and fall into conversation with a pleasant-seeming couple with a child a little older than Archie.

Our children smile shyly at each other and take turns on the slide. And then Oscar, my youngest, falls down and I bend over… an apparently underwear-free mother. The couple make their excuses and leave the park quickly, glancing behind them as they leave.

I’m not sure if there’s an advantage to wearing this for the pantyline-less look, versus just going commando. As for beachwear, you won’t hear any complaints out of me if it comes into my view.

by Costa Tsiokos, Tue 07/17/2007 10:19pm
Category: Fashion, Women
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Sunday, June 24, 2021

Zengrrl takes exception with “cougar”, a recently-coined term for the open-for-business older female:

Why cougar? Because we older women are supposedly on the prowl? And while we’re at, what exactly is the criteria for being a cougar? Do we need to sharpen our nails? Do we need to carry a membership card? And if we’re “cougars,” why do we still need to shave our legs? I’m just sayin’…

There’s no shortage of definitions, and they all point to the same basic idea. It’s as derogatory as any other reductive label, just as “kitten” or “sex kitten” is to younger socially-active women — the opposite end of this spectrum, and undoubtedly the jumping-off point for concocting the whole feline simile.

On the other hand, as Zengrrl also points out, it’s somewhat of an improvement over MILF.

For myself, I’m at the age where a) uttering such college-age slang is laughably awkward, and b) the women available women in my age group are entering the cougar zone — chronologically, if not behaviorally.

by Costa Tsiokos, Sun 06/24/2007 12:26pm
Category: Women, Wordsmithing
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Friday, June 22, 2021

down, with a sound
Know what I think when I see the above picture — or just about any picture — of Amy Winehouse?

I think that if they ever decide to create a Spice Girls version 2.0, and they decide to go white with Scary Spice this time, then they’ve got the perfect candidate right here.

The deal is doubly sealed if they’re looking for someone whose singing resembles the sounds of a wounded moose.

UPDATE: I was strictly kidding about a Spice Girls reformation, and yet it’s turning into a horrible truth. Amy Winehouse or no in the lineup, that’s a scary prospect.

by Costa Tsiokos, Fri 06/22/2007 08:49am
Category: Celebrity, Pop Culture, Women
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Saturday, June 02, 2021

pole position
By posting the above image of high-school (and college-bound) pole vaulter Allison Stokke, I supposed I’m contributing to the out-of-control Websploitation that she and her family are encountering:

The wave of attention has steamrolled Stokke and her family in Newport Beach, Calif. She is recognized — and stared at — in coffee shops. She locks her doors and tries not to leave the house alone. Her father, Allan Stokke, comes home from his job as a lawyer and searches the Internet. He reads message boards and tries to pick out potential stalkers.

“We’re keeping a watchful eye,” Allan Stokke said. “We have to be smart and deal with it the best we can. It’s not something that you can just make go away.”

But this accompanying photo is hardly titillating, and anyway there are loads more accessible image sources for the sudden 18-year-old phenom, starting with the original disseminator.

Not that anyone’s asking me, but rather than try to stamp out this wildfire of Web celebrity, maybe Stokke and her family should, in turn, exploit it. It occurs to me that pole vaulting is among the niche-iest of sports; that Stokke should come across even limited fame within that context is a unique situation.

So why not make the most of it? Why not buy/procure the now-defunct AllisonStokke.com site, make it the official online home of the only recognizable pole vaulter (male or female) out there, and make some money off the situation while it lasts?

The best parallel I can think of, at least in terms of fringe sports celebrity, is Gabrielle Reece. She stood out on the volleyball circuit with both her play and her looks, and has parlayed that into a physical-fitness mini-empire. No reason why Stokke can’t achieve the same thing, even for a pre-defined limited stint.

by Costa Tsiokos, Sat 06/02/2021 06:37pm
Category: Internet, Other Sports, Women
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Friday, May 18, 2021

Chaz takes a spin through NameVoyager, née the old Baby Name Wizard.

And while he invokes the classic Heathers to illustrate his findings, the historical trajectory of another girl name is far more pertinent to me:

Perhaps the sharpest spike was Jennifer: 206th in the 1940s, first in the 1970s, and now out of the top 50.

Being a child of the ’70s, I experienced that wave of Jenniferness firsthand:

In any case, it can get confusing. I first sort of noticed the preponderance of Jens in middle school, when I knew a handful of girls with the name. This accelerated slightly in high school, and got flat-out ridiculous in college: My senior year, I lived a couple of doors down from a dorm suite where four of the eight girls living there were named Jennifer (we distinguished them by yelling for them using their last names: “Barnes! You up there?”)

So yes, there were a lot of little Jennys coming out of American wombs back during the Me Decade.

Somehow, by this point in time, my personal circle of friends and acquaintences has mirrored the drop-off in popularity of the name. Whereas a few years back I kept in touch with something like nine Jennifers, as of today, I can’t think of one I regularly contact. But it’s still one of my favorite feminine names.

by Costa Tsiokos, Fri 05/18/2007 05:56pm
Category: Society, Women
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Thursday, May 17, 2021

At least not so far. But now that we know that single women in New York take hobbyist classes in the hopes of meeting that special someone

“You would think you would meet some good men,” said [Charlotte] Kullen, 34, who lives near Union Square in New York and is the vice president of marketing for Bellmarc Realty. “But there just aren’t any.”

“I’ve been in tennis for four months and there’s maybe one guy out of six people,” she said. “They start getting cute because there’s no one else to look at.”

I’m betting extracurricular courses around the City will have to start waiting lists pretty soon, as they transform more into meat markets than instructional activities.

As for why guys tend to shy away from these venues, here’s my perspective: Having fun with a pastime doesn’t equate with keeping a regular schedule. To me, it becomes a chore, and any joy I might have experienced from it evaporates because of that.

Secondarily, as far as the sporting clubs go: Participating in athletic competition and meeting women almost seems to be cross-purpose. For a lot of guys, ramping up to hyper-competitiveness comes easy, and that state of mind doesn’t necessarily make you attractive to the opposite sex — especially when they’re the competition on the field. It seems like a potential landmine best avoided.

So, as good an ideas as voluntary coursework may seem for singles meeting singles, it’s probably not going to appeal to the male part of the equation.

by Costa Tsiokos, Thu 05/17/2007 11:07pm
Category: New Yorkin', Women
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