Population Statistic: Read. React. Repeat.
Monday, October 04, 2021

we're in the playoffs!
Pucking Hilarious appears to be on hiatus. I’m hoping that they’ll revive themselves this week, with the start of the 2010-11 National Hockey League season, so that I can buy this t-shirt, with the oldschool videogame hockey representation pictured above.

For those who weren’t rockin’ their Sega Genesis twenty years ago, that “Make Somebody’s Head Bleed” motto comes straight out of Swingers:

Trent: I wish they still had fights in this game so I could bitch-slap Wayne.
Mike: What? They don’t have fighting anymore?
Trent: Doesn’t that suck?
Mike: Why’d they get rid of the fighting? It was the best part of the old version.
Sue: I think kids were hittin’ each other or somethin’, man.
Trent: Yeah but you know what, Mike? You can make their heads bleed in this one.
Mike: Make somebody’s head bleed.
Sue: No man, we’re in the playoffs.

And furthermore:

Trent: I’m gonna make Gretzky’s head bleed for super fan 99 over here.

Indeed, the head-bleeder pictured above, from NHL ‘93 (in fact, not NHL ‘94), is Wayne Gretzky, as you can tell from those grey-and-black Los Angeles Kings 16-bit colors. And his assailant would be Jeremy Roenick, then of the Chicago Blackhawks. Ah, the memories.

And yes, I logged plenty of time on EA’s early ’90s hockey simulations. As did my college dormmates. We had far too much fun competing against each other for hours on end with that old cartridge-borne sports game, laughably primitive by today’s standards but engrossing nonetheless. I recall that Murray “The Crave” Craven (that nickname was wholly invented in our gameroom, having no relevance in real life) was a particular favorite player in our self-contained little league…

by Costa Tsiokos, Mon 10/04/2021 10:39pm
Category: College Years, Hockey, Movies, Videogames
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