I’m detecting a pattern in DirecTV’s latest television commercials:

Mangled grammar + heavy accents = satellite subscription sales!

Exhibit A is this aptly-nicknamed “Opulence — I Has It” spot:

It seems this silly Russian millionaire with the broken English was the prototype. After that spot debuted, DirecTV applied the same formula to its late-summer-to-fall NFL Sunday Ticket push:

The TV spots, from Deutsch, New York, center on the fact sports fans can enjoy watching their favorite teams no matter where they reside. One ad, “Cheeseheads,” shows a Green Bay Packers fan talking in a Fargo-like accent to a priest on her couch at home… In another ad, a trophy wife from Dallas vents her anger at a local Redskins fan by letting her dog chew up his welcome mat, knock over the flowers and pee on the rug. In still another, a pair of “Masshole” Patriots fans sneer at a local follower of the Dolphins and toss some snow at his door.

Again, all those spots feature characters with exaggerated regional accents: East Texas twangs, Midwestern lilts, New England nasality, etc. It’s a common theme that’s hard to miss.

I can only assume that market research uncovered that distinct speech patterns resonate with prospective customers of higher-end television services. That, or the braintrust at DirecTV likes to make fun of a broad swath of the American population…