Population Statistic: Read. React. Repeat.
Saturday, May 01, 2021

There’s that old Jerry Seinfeld joke about the loss of the emphatic telephone sign-off:

…because you can’t slam down a cordless phone. You get mad at somebody on a real phone — “You can’t talk to me like that!” Bang! You know. You get mad at somebody on a cordless phone — “You can’t talk to me like that!” [Jerry searches for the 'off' button on his mimed phone, and presses it feebly, in a comedic sort of way] “I told him!”

It’s not like modern cellphones have gotten any more slam-downable. Thus, that joke still applies, which is why Seinfeld saw fit to update it, with the iPhone as the “cordless” phone.

And just this week, that joke was on me. I was concluding an unpleasant conversation on my iPhone — so unpleasant that I couldn’t wait to cut off the other party. Yet, as I pulled the handset from against my ear, all I could do was jab my finger at the iPhone’s screen, touching the big red “End Call” button. That’s it. It ended the call, which was enough, but I definitely felt short-changed, without any further release for my frustration. (Not that anything more would have registered with the jerk on the other end anyway, but still.)

There is an iPhone docking solution that re-creates the landline receiver-slam setup. While that might guard against an inevitable anger-flinging of the iPhone, I think the better course is to just avoid contentious phone calls. And to perfect the finger-swipe disconnects.

by Costa Tsiokos, Sat 05/01/2021 03:24 PM
Category: Comedy, iPhone
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