Know that if you find yourself in New Jersey this winter, you needn’t worry about being offended by brazenly-bare snow-hussies:

Cops ordered a New Jersey family to cover up their saucy snowlady after receiving a complaint that the frosty front yard figure was X-rated.

While neighboring snowmen were allowed to flaunt their nudity with coal-eyed jauntiness, Elisa Gonzalez and her kids heeded the warning from the fashion police. They dressed their controversial snowlady in a green bikini top and hip-hiding blue sarong.

“I thought she looked more objectified and sexualized after you put the bikini on,” Gonzalez, 44, of Rahway told the Newark Star-Ledger.

Just in case you were wondering if puritanical attitudes had somehow gone by the wayside…

Me: …Wish I had a date for this thing.

He: No worries, I’ll be your date!

Me: Hah, yeah, no.

He: Ca-mon, why not?

Me: For one thing, I don’t like blondes.

He: But I’m a dirty blonde.

Me: Not dirty enough, dude.

I pride myself on having delivered such a double-entendre killing stroke to this jokey exchange.