Population Statistic: Read. React. Repeat.
Wednesday, October 07, 2021

When rhetorically asked to explain its existence, a certain college-sports regional channel fumbles off the following FAQ answer:

The Mtn. – MountainWest Sports Network was created in 2006 with you, the fan, in mind. More and more often, [Mountain West Conference] teams were being asked by the former rights holder to play on non-traditional days, such as Wednesday and Thursday evenings and at times not contusive to the fans’ schedules, in respect to both viewership and attendance at games. emphasis added

Yes, The Mtn uses the word “contusive” with respect to broadcasting games around fan schedules. Considering that that term means the ability to bruise or injure without breaking the skin, I guess that means that Mountain West sports programs want to make sure they hurt their viewers at times most convenient to the audience.

Academic standards can’t be too high in the Rocky Mountain region when the difference between “contusive” and “conducive” eludes the media majors. Someone needs to spend more time in the classroom and less time on the field…

by Costa Tsiokos, Wed 10/07/2021 06:24 PM
Category: Comedy, Sports, TV, Wordsmithing
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My fortune-cookie fortune, cracked open just minutes ago:

Hard work pays off in the future,
laziness pays off now.

I’m sure the intent of this little chestnut of wisdom is to encourage sensible preparation for the future. However, as I check my timepiece, I see that it’s precisely… now o’clock. So clearly, I know what to do — or, to the point, not do — to get that instant payoff.

Too bad I’m too busy to heed that cookie-borne advice. All told, I’d have been better off with a non-committal, if enigmatic, empty fortune cookie.

by Costa Tsiokos, Wed 10/07/2021 01:29 PM
Category: Comedy, Creative, Food
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