Population Statistic: Read. React. Repeat.
Thursday, September 24, 2021

In light of the recent introduction of mood-setting perfume oils based on H.P. Lovecraft themes, now’s probably the right time for this public service announcement against Internet chats with primordial demi-gods:
internet safety
The SEO-friendlier rendition:

Stacy Griffith, 15, liked frequenting chat rooms online. One day, she met a funny, goofy boy who was deep and intelligent. They talked all the time and eventually, they decided they were going to meet up at a mall in Stacy’s home town.

Only when they met, Stacy realized he was no boy.

It was a motherfucking Cthulhu. Holy fucking shit.

DON’T TRUST ANYONE YOU MEET ONLINE. YOU COULD REGRET IT.

5,000 American girls lose their sanity to Cthulhu each year. Stop online predation from Great Old Ones before it can start. Educate your children about Cthulhu today. [Ad Council]

Honestly, it had me at “a motherfucking Cthulhu” — like there’s, y’know, any other kind. Who knew the high priest of non-Euclidean madness could lay down the smooth-talking Web smack?

by Costa Tsiokos, Thu 09/24/2009 08:59 AM
Category: Advert./Mktg., Comedy, Internet, Society
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