Population Statistic: Read. React. Repeat.
Monday, March 23, 2021

As I snapped this cameraphone photo on Great Jones Street in NoHo, I wondered: Where could I buy a box of this Biz Markie-themed cereal?

But then I found out that the cereal box was just the elaborate packaging for a limited-edition giant-sized Diabolical Biz Markie Action Figure. And judging by the fictional ingredient list for the non-existent cereal, it’s actually a good thing that it never was produced:

It reads verbatim:
Cereal Box - Caution this is not food
Calories - 1,8000,000 (calories from fat don’t ask)
Vitamin A - 19%
Vitamin C - 80%
Bass - 1,000%
Treble - 80%
Volume - 100%
Iron - 10%
EQ - 400%
Chorus - 40%
Rhymes - 100%

Hardly part of a well-balanced breakfast. Maybe a well-balanced break-beat…

The bigger, more-contextualized photo is Flickr’d. But even better than that is this Japanese television commercial for the very same action figure! Note the “Booger-Pickin’ Finger” action:

by Costa Tsiokos, Mon 03/23/2009 11:04pm
Category: Comedy, Photography, Pop Culture
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2 Feedbacks »
  1. What was the name of the store? I’ve been looking for one of those dolls for a while now. Maybe they would sell it to me.

    Comment by Geoff — 04/09/2021 @ 1:41 PM

  2. Sorry, don’t know. Google “Great Jones Street” and maybe “sneakers”… Not sure if the doll is even for sale, might just be a window prop.

    Comment by CT — 04/09/2021 @ 1:59 PM

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