Population Statistic: Read. React. Repeat.
Wednesday, December 03, 2021

You may recall that Tara recently hooked me up with some free custom-ordered M&M’s for the holiday. She also got some for herself, to gift upon her brand-new godson for his baptism.

During which the newborn guest of honor, one Thomas Caesar Rock Rodriquez, bonded with his godmother in a decidedly male way:

Meanwhile, at the baptismal, little Tom-cat was an angel, he even laughed when the priest poured the water on his head and into his big brown eyes. He’s so good, although he kept dropping his pacifier in my cleavage and I had to keep fishing it out for him. After the third time, I started to think that boys must start their antics early in life ;)

Never too early to start charming the chicks! Although marking women with drool has a limited shelf life — once the diapers go, the saliva should follow. And I’m thinking that this cleavage-dropping move doesn’t fly by the time you’re pushing double-digits:

He’s only 9, but this pint-sized pickup artist already knows plenty about pleasing the ladies.

So much, in fact, that Alec Greven’s dating primer, “How to Talk to Girls” - which began as a handwritten, $3 pamphlet sold at his school book fair - hit the shelves nationwide last week.

The fourth-grader from Castle Rock, Colo., advises Lothario wannabes to stop showing off, go easy on the compliments to avoid looking desperate - and be wary of “pretty girls.”

Pickup moves, courtesy of a nine-year-old and a nine-month-old (or close enough). If this keeps up, I’m going to have to run out and buy myself a pacifier, just so I can channel this pre-pubescent dating wisdom.

by Costa Tsiokos, Wed 12/03/2021 09:43:03 AM
Category: Comedy, Food, Women
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