Population Statistic: Read. React. Repeat.
Saturday, August 30, 2021

strong reception
Love him or hate him, the now-former Chad Johnson has backed up his conviction to his uniform number and nickname:

The Cincinnati Bengals receiver has legally changed his name to Chad Javon Ocho Cinco in Broward County, Fla., a switch that became official this week…

Two years ago, Johnson gave himself the moniker — a reference in Spanish to his No. 85 — and put it on the back of his uniform before a game. Quarterback Carson Palmer ripped it off before the kickoff. After the season, coach Marvin Lewis — who dislikes Johnson’s attention-getting stunts — referred to the receiver as “Ocho Psycho.”

So now, every play involving Chad will have to invoke the old Ocho Cinco, like it or not. Announcers have been saying it anyway, but now it’s official. For this reason alone, I’m now actually looking forward to catching the Bengals on NFL national broadcasts this season.

To be determined: What happens when he moves on from Cincinnati to another team. His decision-making process will have to take into account the availability of the No. 85 uniform number — that, or it’ll be another legal filing to christen “Chad Ocho Dos” or somesuch…

by Costa Tsiokos, Sat 08/30/2008 11:38:19 AM
Category: Football
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Is it slightly jarring to anyone else that the New York Times listing for the newly-released indie flick Young People Fucking spells out the complete title, sans the usual @#$%^ censoring?

Not that I’m offended, but I thought that the Times still copped to being a family newspaper. I am looking only at the online version; I presume the print edition is blanking out the “fucking” part. If so, it shows a clear division between online and offline editorial standards. Or, possibly, that the online listing is wholly feed-automated; no Times film critic reviewed this flick, which indicates the listing wasn’t editorially vetted.

by Costa Tsiokos, Sat 08/30/2008 11:19:07 AM
Category: Movies, Publishing
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Are you kidding me? There’s actually a real company called “Colonblow” selling health supplements that help with your digestive dysfunctions?

And yes, it is legit. I went so far as to call the company’s phone number to convince myself. I had to — the stuff on the website, from the “poop coach” mascot to the email address “flushtwice@colonblow.com” was screaming to me that this was some sort of elaborate joke. But no, it’s all too real.

Unlike the long-ago “Saturday Night Live” skit of the same name:

Coincidence? Surely not. I think this company owes something to the estate of Phil Hartman.

by Costa Tsiokos, Sat 08/30/2008 10:47:32 AM
Category: Business, Comedy, TV
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