Population Statistic: Read. React. Repeat.
Thursday, August 28, 2021

Is it good or bad that I’m pretty much in sync with comedian Lewis Black, regarding his take on how we consume water nowadays?

Not to transcribe the whole thing, but the highlights of which I’m most fond:

- “So now, we buy bottles of water from Pepsi and Coke. Because when I think clean water, oh yeah, I fuckin’ think Coke and Pepsi!”

- “And that’s the operative word. The word is, and has, and will always be, ‘thirsty’. Not ‘hydrate’ — they made that fucking word up!”

- “There are people who walk out of their apartments in New York City, every morning, of every work-week, carrying a liter-bottle of water in a sling. As if it was a little baby. They’re carrying a liter-bottle of water with them — AS IF THEY WERE CROSSING THE GODDAMNED MOJAVE! ‘WHAT IF I NEVER SEE WATER AGAIN?!’”

That last one resonates with me, because I see it all the time here in Manhattan. It kills me. Especially when I see runners in Central Park with little bottles of water strapped around their waists, like a belt, as I have the past few weekends. Honestly, they look like overgrown babies who are inseparable from their ba-ba. It really is okay to get a pang of thirst — and not immediately quench it. Believe me, you won’t damage your system if you have to go parched for a few minutes without liquid relief immediately at-hand.

by Costa Tsiokos, Thu 08/28/2008 12:13:05 PM
Category: Comedy, New Yorkin', Society
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