Population Statistic: Read. React. Repeat.
Wednesday, January 30, 2021

i'm sorry timmyIt’s been 15 years since little brother Timmy critiqued George Costanza on the sanitary hazards of snack-chip double-dipping.

And now, finally, there’s scientific rigor from Clemson University to give backbone to that germophobic stance:

On average, the students found that three to six double dips transferred about 10,000 bacteria from the eater’s mouth to the remaining dip.

Each cracker picked up between one and two grams of dip. That means that sporadic double dipping in a cup of dip would transfer at least 50 to 100 bacteria from one mouth to another with every bite…

Professor Dawson said that Timmy was essentially correct. “The way I would put it is, before you have some dip at a party, look around and ask yourself, would I be willing to kiss everyone here? Because you don’t know who might be double dipping, and those who do are sharing their saliva with you.”

I’m almost sure that funding for this research round was provided by The Human Fund.

by Costa Tsiokos, Wed 01/30/2008 11:19:37 PM
Category: Comedy, Science, TV
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As the Federal government strains to deliver an economic stimulus package that would net average taxpayers some $600 in intended extra spending money, Economy.com argues that pumping up more traditional welfare-state programs would be more effective more quickly.

In findings echoed by other economists and studies, [economist Mark Zandi] said the study shows the fastest way to infuse money into the economy is through expanding the food-stamp program. For every dollar spent on that program $1.73 is generated throughout the economy, he said…

Tracking that single dollar spent through the economic chain shows what economists call the ripple effect, Zandi said. For example, that dollar spent at the grocery store in turn helps to pay the salaries of the grocery clerks, pays the truckers who haul the food and produce cross-country, and finally goes to the farmer who grows the crops.

The report pointed to expanding unemployment benefits as the program that gets the next biggest bang for the buck. That’s because, although the unemployed are already getting checks, they need to spend the money. For every dollar spent here, the economy would see a return of $1.64, Zandi said.

These are very much bottom-up methods of juicing the economy: Spur more necessary spending among the huge mass of have-nots, and the ripple effect will be substantial. The real question is if that effect will be sustainable.

It makes more sense to me than that one-time $600 bonus, which to me is a ridiculous proposition for kickstarting a wave of economic activity. What does 600 bucks represent for middle and upper class households — a weekend or two of fun-money spending? It’s a laughable token giveback.

by Costa Tsiokos, Wed 01/30/2008 11:01:55 PM
Category: Business, Politics, Society
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full frontal
2008 marks the 50th anniversary of the introduction of the Smurfs.

So yeah, I guess it’s just about the right time for live-action smurf porn, perhaps a groundbreaking Deep Throat-like interpretation (though probably not. The clip is in badly-dubbed Spanish, so no telling if that omnipurpose verb “to smurf” is invoked as part of the hot Smurf-on-Smurfette action.

I’ll never be able to think of the term “blue balls” quite the same way again.

by Costa Tsiokos, Wed 01/30/2008 10:18:04 PM
Category: Comedy, Pop Culture
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