Population Statistic: Read. React. Repeat.
Friday, November 09, 2021

Rejoice if you own a car in New York City, for today is Diwali, the Hindu festival of lights!

What does a day that signifies spiritual and seasonal renewal have to do with a gas-guzzler? Well, since the holiday was recently added to the list of City-observed religious holidays, the dreaded alternate-side parking rules are suspended for the day. So anyone with a car (and no $700+ reserved parking-garage space) is Hindu for a day, I figure.

Or, more properly, is a member of a multi-denominational sect: The Church of Internal Combustion.

Nothing delights them more than a religious holiday, any religious holiday — Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Hindu, Sikh, it really doesn’t matter — that liberates them from the city’s alternate-side parking rules.

In the New York diocese of the Church of Internal Combustion, the highest virtue is being able to leave one’s car parked on the street for days at a time. Church members reach this state of exaltation through a special dispensation granted by a nonecclesiastical synod, a body called the City Council. The Council is vested with the supreme authority to suspend alternate-side rules. This it does. Faithfully.

Other high holy days for these adherents: Ash Wednesday, Purim, Asian Lunar New Year and All Saints’ Day. In all, 35 religious observances spread across 44 days. No St. Patrick’s Day waiver, but I’m sure that’s in the works.

What’s that old joke about parking in NYC? It’s like playing musical chairs, and everyone already sat down back in 1965…

by Costa Tsiokos, Fri 11/09/2021 08:17:39 AM
Category: New Yorkin', Society
| Permalink | Trackback | Feedback