Population Statistic: Read. React. Repeat.
Monday, April 30, 2021

Given that the average MySpace or Second Life “friend” is, for practical purposes, nothing but an electronic ghost, you could do worse than adopting a deceased persona as your online avatar.

First of all, is there any real difference between a virtual person and a dead one? A virtual person does not really exist, even though it can do a bunch of things from buying virtual real estate to engaging in virtual conversations and exchanging virtual fluids. It can, in short, do only virtual things.

A dead person does not really exist, either, even though, unlike a virtual one, it has the benefit of having once actually existed, leaving a record behind that is much more tangible and meaningful than a virtual person. Like that virtual entity, the dead person can, at this point, do only virtual things.

So we must ask ourselves: are the virtual things that a virtual person is capable of doing any less “real” than the virtual things that a dead person can do?

Who knew it was an imperative to start networking now for the afterlife?

Thomas Edison’s legendary spirit phone/”psycho-phone” comes to mind as finally having a practical application here.

by Costa Tsiokos, Mon 04/30/2007 11:28:27 PM
Category: Creative, Internet
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When I starting regularly reading the New York Times, little did I realize that would one day lead to learning way more about the genitalia of a certain water fowl than I ever cared to know.

The champion phallus from this Meller’s duck is a long, spiraling tentacle. Some ducks grow phalluses as long as their entire body. In the fall, the genitalia will disappear, only to reappear next spring.

The anatomy of ducks is especially bizarre considering that 97 percent of all bird species have no phallus at all. Most male birds just deliver their sperm through an opening. Dr. Brennan is investigating how this sexual wonder of the world came to be.

Wait, it gets better:

A bird phallus is similar — but not identical — to a mammalian penis. Most of the time it remains invisible, curled up inside a bird’s body. During mating, however, it fills with lymphatic fluid and expands into a long, corkscrew shape. The bird’s sperm travels on the outside of the phallus, along a spiral-shaped groove, into the female bird.

The joke potentials are flooding over me: Everything from the duck’s renowned nasty disposition, to new meaning behind The Mighty Ducks, to what kept Daisy Duck so devoted to Donald.

But really, decorum demands that I stop here.

by Costa Tsiokos, Mon 04/30/2007 10:24:18 PM
Category: Science
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