Population Statistic: Read. React. Repeat.
Saturday, February 24, 2021

I’m sure the head honchos at NBC Universal are proud as punch to be able to list HornyManatee.com on their roster of entertainment properties.

And they have an off-the-cuff, in-skit remark by Conan O’Brien to thank for it:

At the end of the skit, in a line Mr. O’Brien insists was ad-libbed, he mentioned that the voyeur (actually Mark Pender, a member of the show’s band) was watching www.hornymanatee.com. There was only one problem: as of the taping of that show, which concluded at 6:30 p.m., no such site existed. Which presented an immediate quandary for NBC: If a viewer were somehow to acquire the license to use that Internet domain name, then put something inappropriate on the site, the network could potentially be held liable for appearing to promote it.

In a pre-emptive strike inspired as much by the regulations of the Federal Communications Commission as by the laws of comedy, NBC bought the license to hornymanatee.com, for $159, after the taping of the Dec. 4 show but before it was broadcast.

The font of comedy springs from the unlikeliest sources. Not that “Late Night” is bereft of comedic material.

I’m not sure if the Horny Manatee crest is still riding as high as it was after its early December debut. I haven’t seen it mentioned on the show lately. Maybe it’s run its course.

by Costa Tsiokos, Sat 02/24/2007 07:51:26 PM
Category: Comedy, Internet, TV
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The pole-dancing-as-exercise concept has been around for a couple of years now. Now that it’s finally hit the New York City suburbs, I’m sure many New Jersey hausfraus imagine this will keep them in shape — and their husbands out of Scores.

At least, that’s the easier-to-digest marketing message that’s selling this silliness:

Though [pole dance instructor Johnna] Cottam operates independently, more than 350 pole-dance instructors in 34 states and Canada have signed up since August 2006 with an international company, EPM EmpowerNet, to run their own businesses in the model of Tupperware or Avon sales. The company provides DVDs that teach the instructors dance moves, pole safety and party etiquette, and sells them the equipment; they keep the fees they charge each participant — $25 to $30 in this area — plus any margin on the poles.

At-home pole parties are also offered by gyms that teach exotic dance, and several local companies run similar operations.

In its mission statement, EPM, based in British Columbia, sets lofty goals like reducing the divorce rate and having “a dramatic effect on improving relationships.” Tami Huitema, the company’s office manager, said most of its instructors were stay-at-home mothers looking to earn a little extra at night after their children were in bed…

I guarantee you this will generate more arguments in the home, not fewer. “Why do you still go to those strip clubs when I bought that pole for our bedroom?” I got news for you, ladies: Guys don’t go to girlie clubs to look at the shiny metal pole — nor at women who look like what they’ve got at home…

by Costa Tsiokos, Sat 02/24/2007 03:35:28 PM
Category: Society, Women
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I first came across the Kill Divil many moons ago:

* Several pinches freshly-grated ginger
* 1/2 oz. honey (or to taste)
* 1 1/2 oz. light rum or gold rum
* 1 oz. brandy

Mixing instructions:
Stir all ingredients with a little water until honey is dissolved, add cracked ice, and stir again until cold. Pour into a chilled Old Fashioned glass and add additional ice if necessary.

Despite all the sweetness suggested by the rum and honey, the ginger counters the sugar perfectly. It does burn like hellfire, though, so this is not a drink for the faint of heart (or palate).

Good luck getting them to make this in some average bar. Your odds are better if you ask for it in Manhattan, where the barkeeps generally have a chef-like depth of cocktail knowledge. Just don’t order one within walking distance of Spuyten Duyvil Creek; the confluence of Dutch names might make you want to take a drunken dive into the water!

by Costa Tsiokos, Sat 02/24/2007 02:23:05 PM
Category: Food, New Yorkin'
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