Population Statistic: Read. React. Repeat.
Wednesday, November 08, 2021

Don’t ask why, but this snippet from the Kurt Weill/Langston Hughes opus “Lonely Town” has been on my mind lately:

The night for me is not romantic
Unhook the stars and take them down

It’s not at all reflective of my mood; if anything, I’m loving the nightlife more than ever these days. And no, I haven’t recently caught the namesake movie, either. I guess I just like the symbolic imagery it evokes.

- Costa Tsiokos, Wed 11/08/2021 11:55:07 PM
Category: Creative | Permalink | Feedback

Somehow, I came across a citation or two about Yahootinis — speciality drinks served at Yahoo!-sponsored events.

Not to be outdone, Google does up its own signature mixture, dubbed (naturally) the Googletini.

But, ironically, neither of these drinks are search-engine optimized. That is, I can’t find any information, via their namesake search engines, about what exactly goes into each drink. How goofy is that?

All I can glean is that the Yahootini is some sort of lemon-flavored elixir, with purple sugar rimming the glass and litecubes floating in the glass. Basically, the purpose is to achieve the Yahoo!-branded color scheme in libation form. I guess that’s not the case with the Googletini, which appears to be nothing more than a glass of green apple vodka, indicating that Mountain View isn’t even trying.

If anyone knows, or can reasonably guess, at the recipes for either or both, feel free to share here. In exchange, I offer up the Yahootini purple-pom-juice challenger.

- Costa Tsiokos, Wed 11/08/2021 11:43:21 PM
Category: Internet, Food | Permalink | Feedback

Are you getting a decent return on your mutual funds and stock portfolio, yet still feel there’s something… missing in your investment strategy?

(Cue the cheesy 1970s skin-flick soundtrack — Bwah-chicky-bwah-BWAH-bwa-bwa-bwa…)

Then AdultVest might give you the titillating fiscal thrill that comes only from investing in the porn business. You can help that up-and-coming (pun intended) adult storefront expand, or produce the next skin-tastic cinematic epic. The ROI should be climax-like…

AdultVest is the brainchild of hedge-fund veteran Francis Koenig, who believes the adult entertainment business is ripe for a big private equity infusion, provided the right financing framework:

Accredited investors can sign up on AdultVest.com to qualify, and Koenig says people are signing up at the rate of 15 per day. Roughly 300 companies - including website-porn subscription businesses, escort services, and strip clubs - have registered. Investors can also use the AdultVest marketplace to hook up directly with companies.

Koenig has a good track record: The New World Partners hedge fund, where he was a managing director, posted double- and triple-digit returns through the late ’90s - and he thinks similar returns are possible with porn. His funds are set up like any venture capital fund and will invest in a range of businesses, with a portion of each earmarked for buying and running strip clubs…

For all the skittishness about investing in adult entertainment, Koenig points out that the smart money is catching on.

Playboy, for example, recently acquired the far racier empire of porn star Jenna Jameson for $17.6 million. And in August, New Frontier Media, a pay-per-view video distributor, received a buyout offer from Warren Lichtenstein, a tough-as-nails New York hedge fund manager who’s been going after companies he sees as ripe for turbocharged growth.

To Koenig, such moves show the promise of bringing Wall Street sophistication to what is now a supremely inefficient market.

In fact, he’s had talks with several brokerages interested in syndicating deals to sell to their Main Street investors. “People just need to get less shy,” Koenig says, “and they’ll realize that there’s silly money to be made here.”

I can imagine the dinner-party bragging when/if this moneymaking scheming reaches the consumer-investor level. “Yeah, you should talk to my broker, because we totally made a killing when Bukake-thon Volume 69 hit the store shelves! Didn’t we, honey?”

I hasten to point out that the same folks whose faces redden at the prospect of funding tits-and-ass endeavors probably don’t bat an eyelash at all the military contractor stocks that fatten up their retirement portfolios. As usual, sex is more jittery a topic than violence for Americans, even in monetary terms.

- Costa Tsiokos, Wed 11/08/2021 10:18:12 PM
Category: Business, Society | Permalink | Feedback