Population Statistic: Read. React. Repeat.
Friday, August 25, 2021

All this time, I thought that ending up with an empty fortune cookie was the most dreadful way to wind up a night of Chinese cuisine.

But I learned otherwise a couple of nights ago, after an otherwise splendid meal at Chinatown’s Peking Duck House. I cracked open my fortune cookie, and was served up with this message:

Oops… wrong cookie.

“Wrong cookie”??! The rest of my dining companions got the usual pearls of faux-Confucian wisdom from their little slips of paper. Me? I get a vaguely threatening smackdown. How could I be expected to walk away from something like that with a spring in my step?

I think I’m going to skip the fortune cookies from here on out.

by Costa Tsiokos, Fri 08/25/2006 08:29:41 PM
Category: Food, New Yorkin'
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dropping hamiltons
The odds of a sequel to the “Saturday Night Live” viral sensation “Lazy Sunday/The Chronic(what?)les of Narnia” are now looking slimmer. Chris Parnell, half of the goof-rap duo, reportedly is one of the four SNL staff cuts expected to be handed down shortly.

Doesn’t bode well for the dinosaur skit show when it axes someone behind one of the few genuinely funny bits it served up this century.

by Costa Tsiokos, Fri 08/25/2006 08:18:10 PM
Category: Comedy, TV
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Those bundles of telephone, Internet and (oh yeah) television services were only a prelude. After cutting their teeth on the residential market, cable companies are now peddling their telecommunications wares to business clients, where the real money is.

“All of the advantages that we have in the residential market are magnified,” Tom Rutledge, president and chief operating officer of Cablevision, told Reuters. “It’s because the business market place has historically been priced extremely high by incumbent phone companies.”

Telecommunications analysts said companies like Verizon and AT&T Inc. have become complacent in serving small and medium businesses because they have not faced the same competitive or regulatory pressures as in residential markets.

Rutledge said phone companies have been able to charge higher rates for businesses because it was more “politically palatable” for regulators, compared to raising voters’ bills.

“If I were a cable company I would be taking advantage of the window of opportunity because this particular part of the market place has been underserved for years and years,” said Forrester Research analyst Lisa Pierce.

I wonder where VoIP providers fit into this competitive mix. They’re already competing with traditional business phone providers, undercutting the price models to establish their bulkheads. Now the cable companies will throw this sector off even more.

by Costa Tsiokos, Fri 08/25/2006 07:37:49 PM
Category: Business, Tech
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The tire ads that Bridgestone/Firestone has been running for years now always struck me as odd. The “Wheels Go Round” musical track, accompanied by slick-smooth cinematography featuring veritable fashion models grooving and gyrating around whitewall-inspired imagery.

Still, as absurd as they seem, they must be working great, if the campaign has lasted this long. Not that that’s a good enough excuse for some aghast observers:

How low have we sunk as a society that it takes sex to sell a necessary component of a car?? Is there anyone driving around out there with no tires, screeching down the highway in a dazzling display of fiery sparks, refusing to invest in tires until the Firestone ad execs come up with saucier promos? What’s next? Actors dry-humping to bad R. Kelly songs in an effort to sell home security systems? The Maytag man getting it on with the lonely housewife who spends all day Swiffering? A hot, buff pool boy running in to rescue the lady who fell and can’t get up?

I think the home-security business could use a shot of sleaze…

by Costa Tsiokos, Fri 08/25/2006 07:01:13 PM
Category: Advert./Mktg.
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