Well, up my nose with a rubber hose. “Welcome Back, Kotter”, the show that unleashed John Travolta upon the world, is going to be remade as a movie, with Ice Cube starring as Mr. Kah-tear.

Ice Cube? What in the name of Gabe Kaplan is going on here?

Gabe Kaplan, who played Kotter in the original 1975-79 series, also created the show with partner Alan Sacks and retained the rights. He said that despite heavy interest from studios over the years, they held out on adapting Kotter until the right pitch came along.

“We were skeptical about selling Kotter because making a great movie from a TV show can be challenging,” Kaplan said. “After meeting with the Weinsteins [Harvey and Bob Weinstein run Dimension], we knew they were the right ones to bring this project to the screen.”

I’m not sure there even is a “right team” for something like this. Who are they going to get to play the Sweathogs — the surving members of NWA?

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I almost wish that, if an old Gabe Kaplan vehicle had to be remade, that Fast Break would have been it instead.