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Sunday, August 14, 2021

This afternoon, I had to go to the bathroom. To aid the procedure, I started to untie the drawstrings on the Nike swimtrunk shorts I was wearing.

Drat the luck — I pulled them the wrong way, and ended up creating the knottiest of knots. Worse, it wound up making the shorts even more snug around my waist.

Had I really, really needed to relieve myself, I probably would have ripped the shorts right off. But I wasn’t nearly in that much urinary distress. So I tried to undo the knot.

It just wouldn’t budge. My fingernails were way too short to do the job. I pulled out a pair of tweezers, but they too couldn’t separate the melded laces.

Before I knew it, 20 minutes of futility had passed, and the knot remained.

So I thought, screw this.

Perhaps inspired by a recent viewing of Alexander — but only indirectly, since that big-screen spectacle omitted the Macedonian Marauder’s fabled Gordian Knot episode — I grabbed a pair of scissors and snipped my way to freedom. Leaving a pair of ruined shorts in my wake, but a relieved bladder as (temporary) compensation.

I felt kinda bad at first, because I liked those shorts, and they didn’t really look so bad for being a few years old. But upon closer, post-mortem inspection, I can see a couple of tiny holes and other signs of wear-and-tear. So I guess it was for the best.

- Costa Tsiokos, Sun 08/14/2005 03:17:55 PM
Category: Movies, Fashion, History | Permalink |

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  1. LOL! highly edifying, thanks.

    Comment by transience — 08/14/2005 @ 11:41:20 PM

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