Population Statistic: Read. React. Repeat.
Monday, May 30, 2021

part of a pair
Could this be more darling? Paris Hilton is getting hitched, to a guy named Paris.

I applaud everybody’s favorite celebutant. I hope she’ll stick to this theme for her future husbands, too. My money’s on the next spouse’s name: Amsterdam. (Dark horse: University of Miami quarterback Brock Berlin; it’s a last-name permutation, but on the bright side, it would result in Paris Berlin.)

I know Paris Hilton was named after her parents’ favorite city. Since he’s Greek, I’ll assume her beau was named after Paris of Troy. I wonder if the Hilton hotel empire will now launch a war to rescue their heiress…

by Costa Tsiokos, Mon 05/30/2005 10:47:59 PM
Category: Celebrity
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Just caught a TV spot for Ore-Ida frozen French fries. Inexplicably, it included an extensive plug for Heinz ketchup, delivering the message that only the finest of ketchups is worthy of these wonderful fries.

I figured there was a corporate connection. And sure enough, it turns out that H.J. Heinz Company owns the Ore-Ida brand.

It’s smart positioning for each product. Of course, for the minority that despises ketchup — which includes yours truly — it doesn’t persuade. For that matter, I’m not crazy about frozen fried taters, either.

by Costa Tsiokos, Mon 05/30/2005 07:15:06 PM
Category: Advert./Mktg., Food
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I just lost a $1 bet with a coworker (yes, I’m a-working on Memorial Day) because there’s no listing in the phonebook for a “Joe Mama” in the Tampa/St. Petersburg area.

However, to my delight, there is a listing for a Yolanda Mama, in Jacksonville. Which I’m comfortable in shortening to Yo Mama.

Oh, to be 20 years younger. Then, I could dial the number, and brazenly ask, “Is Yo Mama there?” I’m pretty sure that would make me the official Insult Master.

by Costa Tsiokos, Mon 05/30/2005 01:47:45 PM
Category: Florida Livin'
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When it comes to something as deeply personal as religious worship, you’d think you’d want to do in in your native language, right? Unless you’re Catholic, and in Boston, and the only church in the region that still performs Latin Mass is shutting down.

[Dan] Linnell’s wife introduced him to Holy Trinity in 1996, when they started dating, and he immediately “fell in love” with the Latin Mass, which features Roman Catholic rituals, including Gregorian chants, that date back more than 1,500 years.

“I started crying I was so moved,” the 41-year-old recalled as he entered the church with his three young children after an hourlong drive from Sandwich. “For me, it’s what Catholic worship is. It’s just beautiful, and it edifies the soul.”

Tradition is fine, but wouldn’t it be ideal to understand the holy words coming forth? I’m going to assume that most of the worshippers at this Latin Mass don’t speak Latin at all; and while they probably understand the gist of certain sections of the service, and the overall experience, they couldn’t comprehend the entire service.

But ultimately, that probably enhances the experience by taking it to another place, as parishoner Linnell above suggests. Having the Mass performed in a language you don’t understand gives it an other-worldliness, a mysteriousness, that makes it more spiritual. It allows you to bypass the normal route — comprehension through the brain — and opt for receiving it more on a gut level — i.e., comprehension through the soul. The rhythmic sound of the chanting especially delivers this feeling, encouraging a meditative or even trance-like state.

I have a little comparable insight to this: The Greek Orthodox Church — which, in a lot of ways, is a mirror to the Catholic Church — tends to be even more conservative when it comes to worship rites. The church I went to while growing up had its services in Greek and English, but the bulk of the Greek portion was performed in Medieval Greek, chanting and all. It’s different enough from modern Greek that the congregation couldn’t really understand it word-for-word, but it had the desired effect.

by Costa Tsiokos, Mon 05/30/2005 01:32:13 PM
Category: Society
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