Population Statistic: Read. React. Repeat.
Monday, May 16, 2021

outwit, outlast, outcap
So I watched the season finale of “Survivor” last night. Not at all by choice — it was the sociable thing to do (as was playing a Strawberry Shortcake card game).

As is usually the case whenever I deign to watch one of these reality crapfests, I was severely underwhelmed. Aside from the completely manufactured suspense — I could see the outcome from a mile away — the premise for “Survivor” is just so fake. They’re not “surviving” anything. The contestants’ well-being is never in any real peril, and therefore it’s hard for me to give a damn. The high-school level scheming and conniving don’t do it for me either.

I have a running joke with my friends who watch the show — that they should do editions in some real danger zones. And here are my two favorites:

- “Survivor: South Central”. Forming alliances? Try aligning yourself with the right street gang on Crenshaw — or else get a cap busted in your ass!

Survivors will compete in many challenges including a dash from Rosecrans all the way to Atlantic Boulevard which crosses seven different gang territories within the 2 mile journey. Every three blocks, contestants will change into shirts that bear the color and tag of that neighborhood’s most hated rival gang.

- “Survivor: Jihad”. Sleeping in a straw hut on some tropical island, or hunkering down in some cave in Afghanistan — which would you rather watch some namby-pamby contestants endure?

It’s the reality show everyone is talking about. Sixteen contestants. Sixteen beards. Fifteen martyrs. One survivor. Don’t miss “Survivor: Jihad” — only on Al Jazeera.

(If anyone can locate the fake promo video for this, from the Letterman show, I’d love to get a copy.)

by Costa Tsiokos, Mon 05/16/2005 09:48pm
Category: Comedy, RealiTV Check
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3 Feedbacks
  1. the safety net existing under fear factor and survivor contestants makes the “reality” tv shows unapealling to me as well…if i was standing to gain thousands of dollars for doing some activity that would at worse cause me to lose my dignity, not my life, i woulnd’t expect anyone else to have any true concern….now give me “the running man” in real life and a i’ll probably tune it, whether its morally/ethically reproachable or not!

    Comment by j — 05/16/2005 @ 10:02 PM

  2. What bothers me most about reality shows is that they do garner so much attention from the TV viewing public, that the really good shows end up getting cancelled because people are too busy watching crap. Dead Like Me? Cancelled. Carnivale? Cancelled. Survivor? Alive and kicking, damn it.

    Comment by Bianca — 05/17/2005 @ 11:16 AM

  3. OTHER CONTROVERSIAL “SURVIVOR” CONCEPTS

    So today’s the day: The latest iteration of “Survivor” premieres in primetime tonight, with its gimmicky made-to-order controversy over racially-determined competing teams.

    If I gave a rat’s ass about the show, or for reality television in gener…

    Trackback by Population Statistic — 09/14/2006 @ 8:39 AM

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