Population Statistic: Read. React. Repeat.
Monday, May 16, 2021

outwit, outlast, outcap
So I watched the season finale of “Survivor” last night. Not at all by choice — it was the sociable thing to do (as was playing a Strawberry Shortcake card game).

As is usually the case whenever I deign to watch one of these reality crapfests, I was severely underwhelmed. Aside from the completely manufactured suspense — I could see the outcome from a mile away — the premise for “Survivor” is just so fake. They’re not “surviving” anything. The contestants’ well-being is never in any real peril, and therefore it’s hard for me to give a damn. The high-school level scheming and conniving don’t do it for me either.

I have a running joke with my friends who watch the show — that they should do editions in some real danger zones. And here are my two favorites:

- “Survivor: South Central”. Forming alliances? Try aligning yourself with the right street gang on Crenshaw — or else get a cap busted in your ass!

Survivors will compete in many challenges including a dash from Rosecrans all the way to Atlantic Boulevard which crosses seven different gang territories within the 2 mile journey. Every three blocks, contestants will change into shirts that bear the color and tag of that neighborhood’s most hated rival gang.

- “Survivor: Jihad”. Sleeping in a straw hut on some tropical island, or hunkering down in some cave in Afghanistan — which would you rather watch some namby-pamby contestants endure?

It’s the reality show everyone is talking about. Sixteen contestants. Sixteen beards. Fifteen martyrs. One survivor. Don’t miss “Survivor: Jihad” — only on Al Jazeera.

(If anyone can locate the fake promo video for this, from the Letterman show, I’d love to get a copy.)

by Costa Tsiokos, Mon 05/16/2005 09:48:05 PM
Category: Comedy, Reality Check
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Last night, I was over at my friends’ house, absorbing some home-life vibe. A big part of that is playing with their little 2-year-old daughter, who’s about as precocious as a 2-year-old can get.

She had just gotten a set of Strawberry Shortcake playing cards, and decided she wanted to play the match-the-cards game. The cards all had pictures of The Straw and her pals on them, but without their names (I guess that was part of the game, to foster image memorization).

It’s been a few years since I’ve been up on the kidvid pantheon of characters, so I’m not at all up on the names.

One of the friends was a little black girl. Seeing her, I blurted out, “So who is this, Blackberry Shortcake?”

It got a chuckle. Turns out the character’s real name is Orange Blossom. And all told, I’m sorta glad the little girl was too young to comprehend my comment.

by Costa Tsiokos, Mon 05/16/2005 06:11:10 PM
Category: Pop Culture
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Here’s what my weekly (Wednesday through Tuesday) horoscope says about today:

Declare Monday a health day and restore some order.

I may not be religious, but why chance it? So I took today off. Restoration of health? Purely incidental.

(Actually, I had planned on taking today off a week ago, before that astrological edict from Star Goddess. But it’s nice to know that my impulses are in sync with the Zodiac.)

by Costa Tsiokos, Mon 05/16/2005 04:52:04 PM
Category: General
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