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Saturday, February 19, 2021

Yes, it’s a jungle in there. “There” being The Gorilla Foundation, home of Koko the sign-languaging gorilla.

Koko’s fame must have gone to her head. According to a lawsuit filed by two former employees, the signing simian had a thing for nipples:

The suit claims Patterson pressured the two women on several occasions to expose their breasts to Koko, a 33-year-old female — sometimes in situations where other employees could potentially view their bodies. The women never undressed, said their attorney, Stephen Sommers of San Francisco.

They were threatened that if they “did not indulge Koko’s nipple fetish, their employment with the Gorilla Foundation would suffer,” the lawsuit alleged.

The lawsuit claims that on one occasion [Koko trainer Francine “Penny”] Patterson said, ” ‘Koko, you see my nipples all the time. You are probably bored with my nipples. You need to see new nipples.’ “

I wonder how you sign “take off your top”? Or “put ‘em on the glass”? I think they should take Koko on a field trip to Mardi Gras.

- Costa Tsiokos, Sat 02/19/2005 07:46:05 PM
Category: General | Permalink | Feedback

fantasy league
During a press conference last week to introduce Reggie Fowler, prospective buyer of the Minnesota Vikings, he gave this reply when asked to describe himself:

“I’m six-foot-one and I’m tons of fun.”

In reality, Fowler is six-foot-three. And, presumably, full of glee.

It’s a minor discrepency, but as it turns out, it’s one of seemingly many that Fowler’s already been caught on.

His original bio claimed he played in the NFL with the Cincinnati Bengals, in the Canadian Football League with the Calgary Stampeders and in the Little League World Series as an 11-year-old.

Fowler, a star linebacker at Wyoming, was actually cut in training camp by the Bengals and also by the Edmonton Eskimos — not the Stampeders. Clarifying the Little League confusion, Fowler said he played with an all-star team at a tournament in California that was called the World Series.

So, big deal — everyone exaggerates the sporting exploits of youth. That shouldn’t disqualify him from owning an NFL team.

The murkiness of his financial wherewithall should, though:

He again declined to reveal his net worth or confirm any reports about his company’s revenues. But Fowler said he and his limited partners are wealthy enough to complete the transaction. He insisted the NFL and McCombs are satisfied with his financial condition after 10 months of research.

“If both those groups did not feel that we were capable of doing what we’re doing,” Fowler said, “we would not have been allowed to sign a purchase agreement.”

Actually, there’s nothing preventing him from signing a purchase agreement. The thorough background checks start after the signing. This wouldn’t be the first time someone managed to bluff their way into the first stages of a major-league ownership process, only to come up short under further review.

From what little is apparent, his Spiral Inc. holdins generate something under $500 million annually. That’s not the sole determining factor of financial clout, but it certainly doesn’t indicate that Fowler can operate as a team owner when his peers are mostly billionaires.

In any case, I say Fowler’s bending of the truth only fortifies his qualifications. Sports team owners lie all the time anyway; Fowler is off to a head start in that regard.

- Costa Tsiokos, Sat 02/19/2005 07:19:23 PM
Category: Football, SportsBiz | Permalink | Feedback (1)