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Friday, January 28, 2021

fully throttledThat’s one big-ass can, ain’t it?

Well, when you’re the Coca-Cola Company, and you’re launching a new ultra-caffeinated concoction, you damn well better have a big-time container.

So we have Full Throttle Energy Drink, available only in 16-ounce megasize. It might be a bit pricey at two bucks a pop, but at least you’re getting some volume for it.

But what’s inside is almost besides the point. The can is the thing, man. Mostly black, oversized, with wicked-cool graphics reminiscent of the finest Jersey auto-detailing garages. It’s like having the Harley Davidson of fizzy drinks in your hand.

Naturally, I had to get one.

And when I found it stocked in my company’s cafeteria yesterday morning, I couldn’t resist. Being a moderate Red Bull fan (and an even bigger 180 fan), I figured I could handle this new taurine-powered juice.

When I popped it open, the aroma hit me first. I liked it; it was citrusy, and promised something good. The color was bright yellow, very Red Bull-ish.

Unfortunately, it was downhill from there.

Basically, the stuff tastes like Red Bull without the flavor — and I consider Red Bull to be a bit harsh. The citrus I expected was absent. All I got from it was a lot of carbonation and unadulterated sugar. It wasn’t bad enough to stop drinking it, but it wasn’t particularly welcoming either.

What’s more, I didn’t really get much of a lift from it. The stimulation I expected from all the caffeine, taurine and whatever else it’s got never materialized. If anything, I felt weighted down by the stuff. It made me wish I had gone with an orange juice instead.

Well, the can is still cool. And I’m sure Coke will market the hell out of this thing, which should make it a success. But as far as I’m concerned, they need to inject this stuff with something, anything, to give it potency. Sixteen ounces of blah is still blah.

by Costa Tsiokos, Fri 01/28/2005 08:43pm
Category: Food
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