Headline seen while scanning a news website:
My eyes tricked me into thinking it said, “MATH Becoming a Threat in Some Cities”.
I think we all know what a scourge mathematics can be…
Do you tend to use a lot of big words in your speech? If so, you’d better watch your tongue, because it could get you fired.
At least, it can if you work in a comic book shop. And you’re a girl. And your boss is an insecure over-the-hill quasi-lesbian.
I sometimes worry about this myself — not really in professional settings, but in social ones. I get quizzical looks every once in a while over my word usage. It’s not like I’m trying to sound overly-intellectual; honestly, in the course of conversation, certain words flow better than others. I try to keep in mind who I’m speaking with, and on what level, but ultimately, I’m going to express myself the only way I know how. People who know me well get that (mostly); everyone else, deal with it.
If it ever got horribly awkward, I could always claim that English is my second language (which is true — sorta).
Category: Comedy, Society
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Months of heated controversy over a proposed school of chiropractic studies at Florida State University came to an end today, as the state’s Board of Governors torpedoed the idea.
I hope this doesn’t derail plans for the other schools in the now-infamous joke map of FSU’s campus. In particular, the Foundation for Prayer Healing Studies holds a lot of promise.
I probably wouldn’t have bothered to follow-up on this story. But I just couldn’t resist the temptation of running that map again.
Category: Comedy, Science
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His name is Eric “Badlands” Booker, and he’s “America’s Favorite Competitive Eater”.
You can tell he’s a professional, because he’s wearing a crash helmet. He’ll probably die from artery clogging, but at least his skull is safe!
Unfortunately, speed is not in his competitive eating repertoire: A 100-pound woman managed to eat the megaburger shown above in less than half the time it took fatboy.
Come to think of it, isn’t it always that way? The skin-and-bones types often end up the unlikely winners at these asinine eating contests. Heck, this isn’t even the first time Booker got his clock cleaned by someone a fraction of his size: He got beat by a 113-pound Japanese guy at a hotdog-eating contest.
So, really, there’s absolutely no excuse for becoming a disgustingly obese fat-ass. Hit the treadmill, bitch!
UPDATE, 2/1/05: It’s come to my attention that the picture above may be Photoshop-altered. The likely suspects, the burger and Badlands himself, are true to life; but the helmet may be “not real”, i.e. added to the photo afterward.
If so, it’s a pity. The helmet is what grabbed me. Without it, I don’t think I would have bothered with this post at all.