Population Statistic: Read. React. Repeat.
Wednesday, January 19, 2021

I stopped by the grocery store on the way home tonight. My intention was to buy only a loaf of crusty French bread, to have for dinner with a bit of the Canadian brie I bought yesterday.

When I got to the bakery section, I found they were all out of bread. The counter worker told me it would be 15 minutes before the next batch was out.

Great.

Instead of leaving empty-handed, I decided to stroll the aisles to kill time. This was the first time I can remember ever being in a grocery store without having much of a purpose, and truthfully, I wasn’t feeling all that comfortable. Browsing in other types of stores is more of a natural activity; in a food store, it’s somehow weirder.

Then, while wandering down the snackfood aisle and admiring the many varieties of mixed nuts, I reminded myself of the old maxim about supermarkets being prime cruising terrain for the opposite sex. In fact, over the years, friends of mine have commented about how many hot chicks they’d seen at this particular store.

It occured to me that I might be giving off the vibe of such a cruiser. I doubt that I was, because I wasn’t pushing a cart or carrying a basket, which would be de rigueur for someone on the make in the frozen foods section. But still, my general loitering made me feel more conspicuous than I really was, and led to this thinking.

So, I figured since I might be suspected of the conduct anyway, I might as well indulge myself.

It was a bit disappointing. Of all the women I saw, about half had boyfriends/husbands accompanying them. Of the remainder, half of them had little tykes in tow (which, married or not, is just as unappealing to me at 33 as it was at 23). That left a rather thin selection.

I did run across a woman who looked vaguely familiar. She triggered memories of a girl I knew years ago, but haven’t thought of in ages. It’s eerie: I can remember what she looked like very well, can almost remember the name (Katie?), but otherwise can’t recall anything at all about the context or circumstances under which I knew her. I doubt this woman in the grocery store was the same girl; but the visual clue she provided was enough.

Other than that, I didn’t see much else of note. Maybe I was there on an off night. Or maybe the grocery scene ain’t all that.

Anyway, eventually, they brought out the bread, and I grabbed my loaf. In the meantime, I actually picked up a few items that I remembered I needed, and would up spending $15 versus the original buck I would have dropped on just the bread. So the store wound up being the big winner.

by Costa Tsiokos, Wed 01/19/2005 11:40pm
Category: Society, Women
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4 Feedbacks
  1. About a week ago, I was in the Publix on Bayshore, looking for a liter of water. Suddenly, and seemingly out of nowhere, the store was *filled* with Sexy Dads!

    Sexy Dads are a very strange phenomenon - they’re not hot in the traditional sense, but they’re all upper-middle class and confident with those tight polos and expensive haircuts and gym-toned backsides. And the way they make that really meaningful eye contact (because they have Brought Forth Life and they’re only, like, 32). I could die!

    I just stood there for a second gaping like an idiot until Lil Sis came up and shook me out of my reverie with a sharp, “NO. These dudes are NOT fly.”

    My bad.

    Comment by r* — 01/20/2005 @ 12:41 PM

  2. Wouldn’t the traditional interaction with a little sister be you steering her away from foolishness? Or is it more of a symbiotic relationship?

    In any case, I’m sure those 30-something daddies will be ready for action in another 10-15 years, when they hit their midlife crises and the “bring forth life” schtick has worn off. Of course, they’ll likely not be looking for you by then — they’ll be looking for the 20-something-year-old you.

    Anyway, this whole topic reminds me of the old “Kruise & Karry” tag we gave a certain Kash & Karry store, somewhere in Tampa. Purportedly a real hotspot.

    Comment by CT — 01/20/2005 @ 5:22 PM

  3. It better be a symbiosis, or I’m doing too much for her.

    KnK is gross.

    Comment by r* — 01/20/2005 @ 6:22 PM

  4. I dunno about gross, but it’s definitely subpar. Maybe it’ll improve when it gets remade into Sweetbay Supermarkets.

    Comment by CT — 01/20/2005 @ 9:47 PM

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