Population Statistic: Read. React. Repeat.
Saturday, November 06, 2021

scurred, confused
Anyone want a used Trend O’Lantern? Uncarved, so it’s still fresh. Let me know.

My officemates were tired of looking at the thing post-Halloween, so they kept asking me to get rid of it. So I did, getting rid of the word balloon in the process. Now I’m stuck with it.

Actually, I have an overwhelming impulse to smash this gourd. No doubt, this is triggered by the recent exploding of a giant pumpkin on “Late Show with David Letterman”. I don’t necessarily want to blow mine up; I’d go for another time-honored David Letterman tradition, and drop mine from a tall building.

Alas, I don’t have access to a tall building that sits above a cleared-off street. I could try to freelance that, but I don’t wan to go to jail over something so moronic.

I suppose I could have taken ol’ pumpkinhead with me to First Friday last night, and found someone willing to dispose of it, possibly in spectacular fashion. But I thought better of it: I didn’t relish the idea of lugging it around (it’s not light, probably ten pounds), and it probably would have prevented me from operating unfettered.

Now that I think of it… My friend Kirby recently bought a chainsaw that he’s been bragging on (such are the status symbols of suburban, married bliss). I wonder if I can convince him to do a little hack work. It’s not a multi-story drop and splat, but it’d be better than just dropping it in the trash.

by Costa Tsiokos, Sat 11/06/2021 05:42pm
Category: General
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- Took a walk from the office to BayWalk to catch an early-evening showing of The Incredibles. It was okay — yes, just okay.

- Strolled from BayWalk to Get Down Town/First Friday, St. Pete’s monthly street party. I’ve never seen it that packed! Couldn’t figure out why; it might’ve been because the weather’s gotten cooler this week (low 70s instead of customary high 80s — I’m freezing!).

- Fought through the meandering throngs to make Fortunato’s my first stop, because I was hungry for a slice of pizza. However, as the line got closer to the counter, I could see that they were out of regular pizza at the moment (maybe all night), and all they were offering was Sicilian pie. Screw that. So I eyed a pesto chicken sandwich on spinach foccacia bread, and opted for that.

- Got the sandwich, along with a beer. The sandwich was about three times bigger than I thought, and came with a little pasta salad. Damn. Didn’t want to eat the whole thing, but also didn’t want to toss it. So I figured I’d eat half, take the rest back to the office and put it in the fridge, for retrieval over the weekend.

- Just as I was almost finished, this girl I sorta know came in with a couple of friends. I was going to give them my table, but they insisted I stay with them. So I did, for about 45 minutes.

- I cannot remember this girl’s name for the life of me, despite having spoken and flirted with her numerous times. I’ve been able to amuse myself with that for a while now, although I wonder how much longer it’ll be before I resort to the old “show-me-your-driver’s-license-photo” trick.

- Leaving Fortunato’s, I gave the girl’s hand a squeeze, told her I would be back in 15 minutes and look for her. I did come back, but didn’t look for her.

- Back at the office, I noticed the bottle of cologne I had brought in that day, and noted that I had forgotten to use it before going out. Then I left, having again forgotten to put some on.

- Took a detour to Cafe Alma. Surprisingly for a First Friday night, it was fairly empty, except for some late dinner customers. Lingered for a bit, bumped into a couple of decent-looking girls on the way out, talked to them for a bit, learned and forgot their names (I’m bad with names, obviously), and headed back out.

- Back at First Friday, worked my way into Mastry’s. Mastry’s, because it was a Mastry’s kinda night. Got one drink, laughed at the grizzled drunks that were cursing the bartenders for ignoring them, and left.

- I can see the bottles of whiskey right in front of me. I’m almost staring at them. I’m primed for the taste of whiskey. So why do I keep ordering gin and vodka??

- Back on the street, run into Goatbelt Matt. He mentions the Gala Corina art show, where one of his films (done in collaboration with Duh!) will be shown tonight. I had actually planned on catching The Motorcycle Diaries at Tampa Theatre, then hitting The Hub afterward; but I see that Gala Corina is in the same neighborhood as Tampa Theatre (maybe within walking distance?), so I guess I’ll go to Gala first.

- Hit The Lobby, which was typically jampacked. Noticed they have a new Blackjack table off to the side of the bar, wondered if that was at all legal. Worked my way up to the bar. Chatted with a couple of girls. Looked all around, and found myself amazed at the preponderance of blonde girls in the place. Almost got to the bar after about 15 minutes, with a $20 bill in my hand, then realized I really didn’t want anything. So I turned, got a phone number off the girl I was talking to earlier, and left for home.

by Costa Tsiokos, Sat 11/06/2021 05:19pm
Category: General
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You grew up learning that reading is fundamental. But did you also know that you could get brain from cracking open a book?

Neither did the New York Metropolitan Transit Authority:

The advertisements that ran on about 200 buses across the city in recent months carried posters displaying a suggestively posed woman in hot pants kneeling among a pile of books beside the snappy slogan, “Read Books, Get Brain.”

What unhip, unsuspecting local transportation officials did not know was that “get brain” is street slang for oral sex.

“Recent months”? So it took that long for NYMTA officials to get wind of it? Talk about being out of touch. Akademiks, the hip-hop clothing maker that ran the ads (and intended the double entendre), more than got its money’s worth out of the deal.

I’ll confess: I wasn’t aware of the meaning of “get brain” until I read this story. I can imagine how it came about; allow me to re-enact:

“Man, s/he’s so good at it, s/he doesn’t just give head — s/he gives brain!”

I’m a traditionalist: I stick with “suck my dick/cock” or, for brevity, “blow me”. Must be getting old.

by Costa Tsiokos, Sat 11/06/2021 10:25am
Category: Advert./Mktg., Society
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