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Sunday, October 17, 2021

That Cher’s “Farewell Tour” has been chugging away for more than two years, criss-crossing the same cities, has been a source of constant amusement for me.

I cannot conceive of a more excruciating farewell than hearing that warbling for two hours. (Perhaps the only enjoyment I’d get out of a Cher concert would be hoping that she’d get perilously close to those blazing stagelights, which would undoubtedly ignite the untold quantities of silicone and other chemicals pumping through her plastic surgery-ravaged carcass.)

In an effort to re-spin what had become less a tour and more a punchline, Cher recently de-emphasized the “Farewell” title and re-named the tour “Never Can Say Goodbye”, which will run through 2005 and end in her retirement. Unless, of course, it’s still selling out, at which point I’m sure it’ll be prolonged for another several years.

“Never Can Say Goodbye”? Just call a spade a spade, and tag it as the “Milking It For All I Can” tour.

But you can’t slam Cher too much. All celebrities find it hard to truly pack it in. And really, the ultimate crime is committed by the fans who should know better.

by Costa Tsiokos, Sun 10/17/2004 11:44pm
Category: Celebrity, Pop Culture
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It’s high time someone took Godzilla seriously. “In Godzilla’s Footsteps: Japanese Pop Culture Icons on the Global Stage” is an academically-oriented conference that will consider the far-reaching impact of Godzilla and his movies.

It’s kooky, but I guess it’s worth something to trace American adoption of Japanese pop culture back to the big lizard. If not for Godzilla in the ’50s and ’60s, we might not have Pokeman, anime and manga today.

I just hope they have a session or two dealing with the mystery that is Godzooky. And if they don’t minutely examine Godzilla’s Genealogy Bop, then the whole conference will have been an utter farce.

by Costa Tsiokos, Sun 10/17/2004 11:13pm
Category: Movies, Pop Culture
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Yesterday, I stopped by the pet store to restock on various aquarium supplies. As part of the splurge, I decided to pick up a new fish, a pleco catfish. It’s the first new fish I’ve bought in months. Plecos are typically marketed as algae eaters; I’ve got a couple of little fish that are supposed to do that job, but they don’t, and I’m tired of looking at the green areas in my tank, few as they are.

When I asked the attendant to get the fish out of the display tank for me, she didn’t reach for a net. Instead, she just dropped her hand in there, tracked down the fish for a few seconds, promptly cornered him, and then grabbed him with her fingers and scooped him into the carrying container.

I was slightly impressed. I said, “You can catch them without using a net?”

She said, “Oh yeah, they’re easier to catch without the net. Just reach in and grab them.”

Easy for her to say! “You can do that with the skinny little fish, like neons, too?”

“Oh yeah. My brother and me used to do that in ponds, just kick the little fish up onto shore. We were freaks.”

I believe it. She looked a little backwoods to me, for sure. I’d have to see her do this with tiny fish to believe that part of it; I know if I tried, I either wouldn’t come close, or else wind up squishing the little sucker. And I’m betting you wouldn’t be able to ask her for specific fish, instead settling for whatever she could catch (she probably counts on customers being too spooked by her fish-grabbing ability to be overly demanding).

by Costa Tsiokos, Sun 10/17/2004 11:25am
Category: General
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Saw this ad copy on a billboard on southbound I-275 (soon to be known as the St. Petersburg Parkway, among other things), for Allstate:

SAVE MONEY ON AUTO INSURANCE.
YOU’LL NEED IT FOR GAS.

I like it. It’s got a certain gallows-humor common sense to it, which you don’t see much in something so staid as insurance advertising.

by Costa Tsiokos, Sun 10/17/2004 10:30am
Category: Advert./Mktg.
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