The Athens Olympiad is over, and as has been the case since the end of the Cold War, the United States won the medal count (not exactly handily, but respectably enough).

U-S-A! U-S-A!

But it’s kind of boring having America come out on top every four years. And the U.S. wasn’t the only federation competing in Athens. So, inspired by Noumenon’s mid-Games speculation, here’s the revised medal totals, adding up the results of all the current European Union member states:

Clearly, the Euros are the true winners!

Yeah, yeah, I know. If the EU actually had a unified team, it wouldn’t have as many athletes competing, etc. etc. But hey, why claim to be a superstate when you still field separate Olympic teams? Either unify under the EU flag, or else let the U.S. enter 50 teams.