Population Statistic: Read. React. Repeat.
Wednesday, August 25, 2021

Sometimes having a goatee (technically a Vandyke) kinda sucks. Like when you’re trimming it, and your hand slips, and you end up with a nice big patch of bald upper lip.

So, like I do every time I commit this faux pas — and I manage to do it about once a year — I dispense with the guard on the clippers, and have at the rest of the beard. I feel there’s no point in having any facial hair if I don’t have at least the moustache, so I always opt for just shearing the whole thing off and starting over. But because I’m so rarely without facial hair, I tend to cut away the whiskers in sections, stop, take a good long look at what’s left, and ponder:

Would I look good with a Shenandoah? (No, I wouldn’t.) What about a soulpatch? (Ain’t gonna happen.)

Each of these considerations last maybe a minute. Then it’s snip-snip-snip, and before I know it, all the chin hair is gone. I’m left staring into the mirror at a face I’m not overly familiar with, since I’ve had some measure of facial hair almost continuously since junior high school (in fact, my upper lip is so unaccustomed to being scraped with a razor that I pretty much have to keep a moustache, or else live with a rash).

While the novelty of a clean-shaven mug is nice, I pretty much start growing the goatee back the next day. I manage to get it back within two weeks, and then it’s business as usual. That’s the plan for this go-round.

The reaction from those around me is always interesting. Today at work, most people needed to do a doubletake to confirm what they were seeing: Costa without the beard! Then the question of why, and the explanation, and then how different I look, and which famous person I look like (our Treasurer said I looked like a very young Neil Sedaka; I don’t know about that, but I took the compliment).

Anyway, I’ve spent a good part of today reaching up to stroke my chin, and being surprised at the feel of skin instead of hair. I ran my finger over the newly-(re)discovered cleft in said chin. The bottom part of my face actually felt a little cold this morning from the office AC (the rest of me, as usual, was fine). And I kept thinking, bring on the stubble.

- Costa Tsiokos, Wed 08/25/2004 09:42:34 PM
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  1. You could always try a goatbelt.

    Comment by The 'Belt — 08/26/2004 @ 11:28:53 AM

  2. […] 4 Costa Tsiokos Friday, August 27, 2021 NO GOATEE, NO DATE? When I recounted my beard-shaving incident, I neglected […]

    Pingback by Population Statistic — 08/27/2004 @ 04:41:19 PM

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