What can I say, I derive much amusement from the merest suggestion of McDonald’s-inspired mayhem. Especially when it’s mixed with a fear of clowns.

Or is it more of a fear of fast-food pimpness? I can just imagine this statued Ronald’s accompanying dialogue: “You better have my money before I bitch-slap your McNuggetty ass!”

Take Conan O’Brien’s recurring “If They Mated” skit and make it frighteningly real, and you’ve got The Human Hybrid.

“Human” is a bit of stretch, only in that it suggests an egalitarian photographic genepool. In reality, this is all about interpreting reg’lar folks’ images as a melding of two well-known celebrities. Nothing wrong with that — it works for late-night television! — but it’s something of an old-hat trick.

I assume most of the photo submissions, like the one pictured here for “Clay Cruise/Tom Aiken”, are authentic. (I love that hybridization-slash-slashing of the names, by the way.) Some of them, though, I’m just not buying.

While rushing through the Upper East Side today, a sign in an electronics store display caught my eye:

DIGITAL CAMERAS
YOUTUBE-ENABLED

I half-suspected that this was a snake-oil claim. But in fact, Casio’s Exilim camera line touts its YouTube-branded point-click-upload onboard software interface, which is designed to make recording and posting of videos seamless. Furthermore, Casio got an exclusive on this YouTube-by-association feature.

Of course, this ain’t news, as Casio rolled out the Exilim almost a year ago.

But it’s news to me. And I think it’s indicative of the times that a camera’s ability to play nice with YouTube is such a powerful sales hook that it’s front-and-center in valuable window display territory. In fact, I’m thinking this is a crucial feature for selling to younger consumers, how might otherwise need convincing to get a dedicated camera versus just using their cameraphone.

The above picture is of former Spice Girl and current soccer-wife Victoria Beckham, taken by Juergen Teller as an advertisement for fashion house Marc Jacobs. This shot is fairly typical of Teller’s avant-garde approach to photography.

Two things: One, I never would have believed that Stick Spice had enough meat on her bones to represent with a pair of legs like that. And two, this disembodied-limb look is the closest thing to an appearance that she’ll ever make on this blog.

Much as Monday Night Football and Terrell Owens taught up almost four years ago, you simply cannot put a black man and white woman together in American media and not have people go (pardon the pun) apeshit.

But the image is stirring up controversy, with some commentators decrying the photo as perpetuating racial stereotypes. [LeBron] James strikes what some see as a gorilla-like pose, baring his teeth, with one hand dribbling a ball and the other around [Gisele] Bundchen’s tiny waist.

It’s an image some have likened to King Kong and Fay Wray.

“It conjures up this idea of a dangerous black man,” said Tamara Walker, 29, of Philadelphia.

And in fact, some think that photographer Annie Leibovitz, who shot this April 2008 cover of Vogue, took her inspiration from the semi-famous “Destroy This Mad Brute” World War I propaganda poster, which predates King Kong.

As always, image is everything.

Yes, that would be a lady playing her harp on a subway platform. Specifically the L Line’s first Brooklyn stop at Bedford Avenue and North 7th Street.

Musical performers are a common sight at NYC subway stations, but the majority tend to use more compact instruments like guitars. I’m guessing this harp lady is fairly unique. Plus, how much of a hassle must it be to lug that huge thing around? (That big blue thing behind her is the harp’s case, by the way.) I’d hope that she makes an appearance at a Manhattan station, but I’m thinking the chances are slim.

I wish I could take credit for capturing this shot, but I can’t. The original is right here, along with larger versions for more visual details.

Of note:

On a recent quest to track down an Polaroid instant camera, a coordinated search between Manhattan and Long Island came down to a single model for sale. And that one had to be unearthed from a floor-level shelf, behind the counter at a Duane Reade.

Why hunt down an old-style film camera in this age of ubiquitous digital photography? I needed it for an occasion where the Polaroid’s instant photo-printing gimmick would satisfy the instant gratification that the evening would generate. Sometimes, the “real” handheld photo works better, in a pass-it-around social setting, than a digicam’s viewing window.

I guess this underlines how far out of favor film has fallen, even the specialized point-shoot-print variety that set apart Polaroid for so long.

I took some time out of my busy Friday schedule to attend the midday grand opening of the National Hockey League’s new flagship retail store, NHL Powered by Reebok.

It was a zoo, all right. I don’t know that I managed to capture that crazed atmosphere with my MWW Group-loaned Nikon D80 camera, but I took a few pictures of the event nonetheless. They’ll eventually all show up on the Picture This Project page as well; because I’m limited to adding 5 photos per day there, it’ll take a couple more days for all of the shots to get posted there.

Being surrounded by so much raw retailing imagery, I felt strongly compelled to come away with a purchase. Aside from a tea from the on-site Starbucks, I refrained, mainly due to lack of time and not being able to find my size. I did almost grab a “vintage” Minnesota North Stars t-shirt, and even considered another vintage New York Americans shirt (representing a long-defunct team, notable only for its demise signaling the commencement of the Original Six era). I’ll be making future visits, and I’m sure I’ll be dropping a fair amount of cash there.

A few notes, with appropriate Flickr’d links:

- The Brodeur-Crosby-Thornton mural, which I used as a glyph image above. I imagine it had to be a challenge to do the work on the sidewalk, with everyone walking by and gawking.

- I did show up with my prize key for the Unlock Your NHL Dreams contest. But the line to get to the safebox was wayyyyyy too long, and besides, the choice prizes were already gone. So I gave my key away before I left.

- I got a glimpse at some NHL alumni, including Butch Goring, Ken Daneyko and Bruce Driver, and last but least, Eric Cairns (who at least had a semi-hot Islanders Ice Girl with him). No Rangers old-timers while I was there; I found that curious, given that this was the heart of Manhattan.

- Also got a glimpse at the Stanley Cup. I didn’t try to get my photo taken with it, though.

- Among the kookier items for sale in the store: anime-ized Sidney Crosby and Alex Ovechkin action figures. I didn’t see them flying off the shelves, which is understandable as the store is fairly apparel-oriented (the Reebok influence).

- A stand-out piece of hardware: An Orange County Choppers-commissioned NHL-themed motorcycle, near the entrance. I’ll have to catch the show episode where they build the thing.

- The much-vaunted giant hockey-stick sculpture hanging from the ceiling didn’t really stand out for me. If anything, it brought to my mind the ceiling-dangling samurai swords to be found at Kobe Club, even though I’ve never actually seen the latter.

- The much-hyped permanent ice wall was pretty disappointing, to me. It was a lot smaller than I expected, and what’s with the for-sale ice skates superimposed over it? Plus, it seemed to have excessive frost on it, which wasn’t particularly yielding to my attempts at finger-writing; it made me wonder if it wasn’t somehow malfunctioning.

At last, I have a good reason to visit Jersey City. If not to actually patronize The Iron Monkey Restaurant & Bar, then at least to shoot a picture or two of the namesake sculpture, as otilius did.

I wish I could get a gander at their drink menu; it’s currently 404ing on me. I’m wondering if the Brass Monkey is among the selections. Probably not, although I’m sure they serve up an “Iron Monkey” concoction that’s comparable. Maybe at least they have the Beastie Boys song on their lounge playlist.

Inspired by New York Nitty-Gritty’s photo of a giant Heidi Klum jeans ad on Houston Street, I decided to take a snapshot of the billboard eye-candy I regularly see near my stretch of Houston.

This billboard space for American Apparel is good for a monthly (or so) serving of titillation, always with a female subject. One wonders if this gratuitous display will be maintained, after company founder and noted womanizer Dov Charney sold out to an equity firm last winter. If so, maybe I can keep a monthly photolog of the imagery.

And yes, of course I took this pic with my MWW Group loaner Nikon D80, and of course there’s a bigger/uncropped version on Flickr!

Long ago, I confessed an irrational distaste for shipping charges from online purchases.

My attitude seems more justified in light of the business practices of Web photo service Shutterfly. The company relies on its shipping cost structure to make money:

Which gets us back to [outgoing Shutterfly chairman Jim] Clark’s departure and his “manufacturing” comments and why they may be relevant: A hefty and increasing chunk of Shutterfly’s revenue doesn’t come from products, but instead from the amount Shutterfly charges for shipping. If you are like me, you probably assumed that when you buy something online the cost of shipping is merely a pass-through from FedEx Corp., United Parcel Service Inc., DHL International Ltd. or the U.S. Postal Service.

But at Shutterfly, those shipping fees also are a profit center; the company is currently only profitable in its fourth quarter. “We do make money on it,” says Judith McGarry, director of investor relations. While not disclosing just how profitable it is, Shutterfly does acknowledge that shipping is a “significant” revenue generator that for the first nine months of 2006 generated 23% of sales before ending the year at 20%, up from 19% the year before. That compares with 5.3% at Amazon.com Inc., which unlike Shutterfly also discloses shipping costs.

Call it what it is: A ripoff. Shutterfly pays a fixed cost to carriers to send out the prints, so anything they charge over that amount is an artificial markup.

Actually, I don’t know why this article uses a blanket statement like “shipping fees”. For decades, mail order businesses have used the “shipping and handling” as the standard catch-all. I’d always assumed that the “shipping” part was the inflexible cost, and the “handling” was whatever the vendor felt like extracting from the customer (above the minimal stocking, packaging and other work actually needed to get the purchase ready for shipping). It sounds like Shutterfly is taking massive liberties with that handling charge.

This is the scene behind the bar at The Bowery Poetry Club, on (of course) the Bowery downtown. I captured it with my Nikon D80 camera on loan from MWW Group, and that being the case, you can also view a larger, uncropped version on Flickr.

Congrats to you if you got the in-joke that’s scrawled onto that countertop television set. It is, of course, a paraphrased play on the first line of Allen Ginsberg’s “Howl”:

I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness…

The syntax may be ever so slightly off, but “I’ve seen the best minds of my generation destroyed by television” is an apt parody. Having the junky little TV set plugged in and displaying a perpetual screen of snowy static is an addition nice touch. The volume should have been on too, but I imagine that would get real old real fast for the bartenders.

Appropriately enough, I ordered an “Allen ‘Gin’-sberg”, one of their signature drinks, while taking this photo. I got some heat for it for some reason. They wouldn’t tell me what was in it aside from the gin, but what I got was a stoplight-colored layered cocktail: Red on bottom, clear in the middle, blueish-green on top. Tasty.

In the beginning, the IRT and other portions of the New York City subway system were privately-owned.

The Depression killed off those business ventures. If you think the time is ripe for another go at the idea, these discarded subway signs are waiting for you on Houston Street. Heck, maybe with the mounting outrage over proposed MTA fare hikes in 2008, a private tube would be embraced — assuming it doesn’t go belly-up within the first few days.

This scene photographed by me just a few days ago, as part of the MWW Group’s Nikon D80 Picture This Project, naturally. Click here or above to embiggen.

I’m hoping Miss Moxie won’t mind me bitin’ her too-cute photo of a two-legged/two-wheeled dachshund showing off during some sort of Weiner Dog Race. Dubbed “Poppin’ a Wheelie”, it’s part of the photo pool of contributions to the Nikon “Picture This” D80 Project, of which I’m a fellow member.

Along with inspiring me to go out and find something equally as cool to photo-capture with my D80, this image is also prompting me to finally track down that Harmont & Blaine weinerdog polo shirt.

It was a lazy Sunday afternoon around here. Even though I didn’t spy anything I considered photo-worthy, I forced myself to pull out the loaner Nikon D80 camera I got from MWW Group and took the impromptu photo above. Embiggened version can be found on Flickr.

Not exactly pushing the D80’s high-octane capabilities to the hilt. I never claimed to be Diane Arbus.

Typically cluttered desktop for me. The bright green and yellow of this stuffed plush toy made for as good a pic opp as anything else around here.

As for the little toy turtle itself: His name is Dash, and apparently he’s part of an initiative by Starbucks to launch a series of children’s books. I’m guessing that idea is dead, because when I picked up Dash on a whim a couple of weeks ago, he was sitting on the bargain shelf with a discounted pricetag. He’ll wind up being gifted to some little kid soon enough.

Behold! On either side of Broadway and 57th, as odd a sight as you’ll ever see: Not one, but two Duane Reade outlets, directly across the street from each other. Both fully-stocked stores, neither slated for closure (I actually checked with each store manager).

It’s like encountering the nexus of the universe, in street retail form.

Like these drugstores aren’t ubiquitous enough in New York. Goes to show you how much mad business this chain does if two of them can go head-to-head like this. Very much of a Starbucks effect. In fact, at this rate every single street corner of Manhattan will wind up housing either a Duane Reade, a Starbucks, or some bank branch.

Click here, or on the photo above, for a bigger and bolder view of these twins. It actually took me several days to line up this shot — I had difficulty locating the right vantage point. Actually, I’m still not sure I got the ideal one. But short of standing in the middle of 57th Street, it’s the best I could do. Of course, I used the Nikon D80 camera loaned to me by MWW Group.

Yes indeed, someone in the Sunshine State — Tampa, specifically — is driving around with a vanity license plate that reads: A SINNER.

The above picture is real, all right. It’s an artifact from my brief Florida visit last month. I saw the van sporting this plate in a parking lot one night, and whipped out my cameraphone to capture the evidence.

So needless to say, even though I’m saying it: If you’re in Tampa, and you see this van a-rockin’ — don’t come a-knockin’.

I took the above photo back in May, on a day when I was seeking out one of the few scattered Pinkberry frozen yogurt shops in Manhattan. Reading about Tara’s visit to an LA edition of Pinkberry inspired me enough to throw it up now, well after the fact.

This is, of course, one of the series of pics I’ve taken as part of MWW Group’s Nikon D80 Picture This campaign. Click here for bigger versions of this image.

Leave it to me to go to a food outlet and take a picture of the non-food items. These trinkets amounted to Pinkberry’s kitschy toyshop, very Japanese/anime inspired. I just liked the way the light was set, and the overall composition of the scene. Much worthier of record than what was going on behind the counter, anyway.

Oh, as for the yogurt itself? I’ll repeat what I told Tara:

I got the green tea flavor, topped with Fruity Pebbles. It was okay, I wouldn’t go for the same combo again. “Tastes like grass” is about right, and that “gr” is hanging in by a string Next time I’ll have to try the plain with something more creative for a topping — Coco Pebbles?

Actually, I think they should expand the options in junkfood-cereal toppings. Get some Cap’n Crunch and Rice Krispies in there, Pinkberry!

I don’t suppose the funky-looking shoes pictured above are particularly unique.

But they stood out to me, when I spied them one week ago on the A Train (en route to Airtrain and the airport). Something about the black leather paired with fluorescent-green laces and trim caught my eye. They sort of matched with the dressed-down look that the South Asian girl was wearing — and then again, sort of not.

I snapped this photo with my trusty cameraphone, instead of the Nikon D80 SLR camera I’m reviewing. One of the many situations where it’s just not practical to lug out a full-sized camera, although obviously there’s a huge quality gap.

Last year’s Coney Island Mermaid Parade passed me by unawares. I regretted it, and made a mental note to catch it for 2007.

The note didn’t stick. This year’s 25th Anniversary edition went forth on Saturday, and I missed it. Thus passing up one hell of an afternoon’s worth of freaky photo ops; I particularly like the ghoulish-looking topless Starbucks maidens.

Not only wasn’t I doing anything special yesterday, but I was pretty well bored out of my mind for a good stretch of it. A jaunt out to Coney Island would have been the perfect tonic! So I’m really kicking myself.

Maybe if I make a note here, online, I’ll actually remember to keep an eye out for the 26th Annual edition. Here’s hoping!

It’s been more than a month since I got the use of a Nikon D80 SLR digital camera. While the provider of the camera — PR agency MWW Group, via Tom Biro — isn’t obliging me to do a product review on it, I figure I should relate my impressions on it so far.

Further background can be had in this blog’s archives, but the basic deal is that I’ve been lent this camera for a six-month period. During that time I can use it as much or as little as I want, display the resultant photos/videos anywhere or nowhere, etc. just as long as I cite the context. Exceedingly low-pressure tactics, I know. I figure it’s a public-relations Jedi mindtrick, aka reverse psychology: Deemphasize the obligation, and it paradoxically becomes weightier! (Not that it’s worked flawlessly: The structure of the campaign has prompted accusations of shady dealing; I think that’s a crock, and judging from the lack of wider agreement on that charge, it seems to be a fringe opinion.)

Anyway, I’ve posted a few examples of the point-and-clicking I’ve done under the Photography category. I’ve also loaded a handful of photos on Flickr, including cross-posts to the dedicated Nikon “Picture This” project. Also of note are photosets from a Bronx Zoo trip and a Brooklyn bar gathering.

That covers the photo-output part of this exercise. As for the camera itself:

I’m approaching this product review as the most amateurish of amateurs. I haven’t owned a camera for long stretches, and when I have, it’d sit in a drawer somewhere for months on end. I like photography enough to appreciate quality examples, but I’ve not been enthused enough about it to make it a hobby.

From that perspective, the D80 is ridiculous overkill for me. The big zoom lens, the 10.2 megapixel resolution, the million-and-one sensors for optimal image quality — all this screams professional-grade, or near enough to leave me in the dust. Frankly, my cellphone camera is probably more suited to my out-and-about needs.

That said, here’s my rundown:

PROS:
- It’s pretty hard to take a bad picture. The sensors indicate light level and everything else, popping up the flash only when needed (I’m keeping in mind to try that ingenious upside-down flash trick at some point!). Low-light, bright sunshine, indoors, outdoors — nothing’s really fazed it yet.

- Battery life seems excellent. I don’t know how it would perform under prolonged, sustained use, but after a couple of weeks of moderate use, it still had 50 percent charge left.

- USB sync-up to the computer is seamless (although I haven’t bothered with the image-management software that was included — SOP with me).

- The zoom lens is something else — I’ve been able to get close-in detail from untold yards away. Here’s a good example shot, taken on Houston Street.

CONS:
- It’s a bulky beast, especially with the extended zoom lens attached. Not optimal for casual, shoot-from-the-hip use.

- Maybe it’s just my amateurish gripping methods, but the placement of the memory-card slot (I was given a 1-gig card as part of the package) seems bad. It’s on the right-hand side of the body, where your right hand grips it. I’ve found that my fingers tend to slide in such a way that I accidentally pop open the latch. There’s no danger of the card falling out, as that would require the second step of press-ejecting it out, but still.

- The lens-cap on the zoom lens also seems a bit prone to accidental popping-off.

- I haven’t been able to figure out how to adjust the zoom lens scale or resolution mechanically — only via manual hand-twisting. I have to believe there’s a way to do it, but I haven’t been able to figure that out.

- The on-board menu options for manipulating photos seem a little lacking, i.e. renaming filenames, etc. Again, I probably need to familiarize myself with it more, but it doesn’t seem intuitively structured.

That’s about the size of it so far. Overall I’m happy with the experience, although I’ve determined that I’m more suited to trying it out in controlled situations (pre-planned events like parties or outings) versus waiting for spur-of-the-moment opportunities to crop up around me. I’d also like to try my hand with black-and-white photo-taking. That’s my plan going forward.