Nothing is more sure to bring a smug smile to my face than the low-budget glory of a crappy, locally-produced television commercial. What would mid-afternoon and late-late-night TV be like without this dreck?

This one certainly delivers that smile, and would have even if it didn’t have snarky, grafted-on subtitles:

Despite the two-minute long rap (which was probably a good 90 seconds too long), this flea-market owner fails to convince me that his institutionalized garage sale is “just like, just like — a mini-mall!”. The combination of the starfish, pony, and typewriter dance moves doesn’t help, nor do his angry-creepy bugged-out eyes. A big fail on the marketing message.