My friend Kirby called me today:

Kirby: Question that you should be able to answer, what’s the opposite of turkey?
Me: …Um. You mean the food or the country?
Kirby: The food.
Me: I’m not getting why you think I would know this.
Kirby: C’mon!
Me: I take it this is due to post-Thanksgiving syndrome.
Kirby: Yeah, a bunch of us here in the office are trying to figure out what to have for lunch that’s as far away from turkey as possible. I’m thinking maybe Chinese…
Me: Yeah, why not? Although you should steer away from Chinese that has chicken in it, ’cause that’s too close. Probably pork or something.
Kirby: Actually, what would be the opposite of Turkey the country?
Me: Hell, I’d say Greece — European versus Asian, Christian versus Muslim, but neighbors.
Kirby: Yeah… I dunno.
Kirby: More like, what’s on the opposite side of the planet from Turkey? That’d be the true opposite.
Me: Good idea! I can’t look that up at the moment, my computer’s just warming up.
Kirby: I’ll check now…
Me: I do know that Peru is directly opposite from Vietnam on the globe. That’s from They Might Be Giants — in an interview they did, they cited that as part of the inspiration for their song “Ana Ng”.
Me: Not that any of that helps.
Kirby: Found it… Looks like Turkey is directly across from Texas. Tex-Mex!
Me: Imagine that.
Kirby: Quesadillas!
Me: I guess so.

The lengths some people go to for lunch. Personally, I would have gone Greek with gyros.