Just as some expect paradigm-shifting sociopolitical change from Barack Obama and his presidency, others expect paradigm-shifting sociocultural change from Michelle Obama and her, um, butt:

In modern times, the butt has demarcated class and stature among black society itself. Emphasizing it or not separates dignified black women from ho’s, party girls from professionals, hip-hop from serious…

But Michelle is bringing those two falsely divided minds together in a single presentation — finally, unity for the real world! Talk about a power base. Thanks to Michelle, looking professional and provocative in a distinctly black way will become not only acceptable but also part of a whole presidential look that’s more, well, inclusive. Now we’ll all be able to wear leggings to board meetings; we’ll sport pencil skirts sans the long jackets meant to cover the offending rear at big conferences where we have to make a good impression. It turns out that Sir Mix-A-Lot, he of “Baby Got Back” fame, was not a novelty but a prophet. Who knew? Give that guy a Cabinet post.

What began at the source, should resume at the source. Mr. A-Lot, get to work on some new Obama-era lyrics for your signature song. Let’s start it off with the obvious chorus hook for “First Lady Got Back”: DC face with a Chi-town booty. Yes, a dignified affair, all around.