Congrats to Garrison Spik for winning this year’s Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, the “it was a dark and stormy night”-inspired bad-writing competition that awarded $250 for this:

Theirs was a New York love, a checkered taxi ride burning rubber, and like the city their passion was open 24/7, steam rising from their bodies like slick streets exhaling warm, moist, white breath through manhole covers stamped “Forged by DeLaney Bros., Piscataway, N.J.”

Spik, a Washington, DC resident, obviously drew his inspiration from the NYC area:

“I just thought DeLaney Brothers had a funny ring to it. There’s no hidden meaning, no Salman Rushdie kind of stuff. And Piscataway just sounds funny.”

Funnier than, say, Weehawken? No shortage of funny-sounding names in New Jersey.