Let’s reminisce for a bit, back to just before the turn of the century, when Major League Baseball pitcher John Rocker was sharing his infamous views on New York’s multiethnic makeup:

- On ever playing for a New York team: “I would retire first. It’s the most hectic, nerve-racking city. Imagine having to take the [Number] 7 train to the ballpark, looking like you’re [riding through] Beirut next to some kid with purple hair next to some queer with AIDS right next to some dude who just got out of jail for the fourth time right next to some 20-year-old mom with four kids. It’s depressing.”

- On New York City itself: “The biggest thing I don’t like about New York are the foreigners. I’m not a very big fan of foreigners. You can walk an entire block in Times Square and not hear anybody speaking English. Asians and Koreans and Vietnamese and Indians and Russians and Spanish people and everything up there. How the hell did they get in this country?”

Ah, the memories.

I could see that Rocker’s time in the spotlight would be short. In fact, at the time, I remember joking with a friend that the future was clear: Rocker would wash out of the majors, wind up selling insurance, and someday parlay his brief notoriety into a Vice-Presidential candidacy on some fringe third-party crackpot ticket.

Well, he “retired” from the major leagues years ago, after compiling fairly negligible career numbers. And judging by his modern-day online screeds, where he’s cultivating a nice little persecution complex, I’ll stick with my half-serious prediction becoming ludicrous reality. With gems like “What if 20 Million Illegal Aliens Vacated America?” and “Can A Muslim Become A Good American Citizen?”, I’m sure some whites-only outfit will be tapping Rocker for public appearances soon.

And if this rocket-ride to fame gets derailed, there’ll be no shortage of funny-speaking scapegoats upon which Rocker can cast blame. Keep hope alive!