Why deal with mail-order bride brokers from Russia and Thailand when MarryOurDaughter.com can hook you up with all-American young ladies, all Biblically bride-priced by their parents?

And when I say “young”, I mean young:

“Our 15 year old daughter Mary wasn’t very popular and did nothing but mope around the house bringing everybody down, so we decided to marry her off through your site. Now our house is a lot cheerier and we love our new swimming pool and Jaccuzi! We’ve told our youngest that when she turns 15 we’re going to marry her off too!”
—Mrs. James P.

“My mother thought I was getting ‘too frisky” and that I had to get married right away before I lost my purity to some high school boy. Marry Our Daughter found me a husband and my parents were able to keep their house and pay off my mother’s medical bills. I was so glad I could help them, and being married at my age (I’m 16 now) has a lot of advantages, like my own credit card!”
—Nancy A.

I looked throughout this site, waiting/hoping to uncover the punchline. The above blockquote is the closest I came, because apparently, everything is nice and legal here.