Allegedly, the Washington Post and Mensa recently released results to the Washington Post Mensa Invitational. The Invitational is a public solicitation to take a word from the dictionary, add/subtract/alter one letter in it, and then supply a new definition to the ersatz word.

I say “allegedly” because I can’t find a trace of this contest, on either organization’s site or in a general Web search (aside from other blog references to previous years’ editions). It seems to me that if this Invitational were real, it would be prominently referenced.

Regardless, someone’s somehow found a list of the results. Wherever these came from, they’re pretty good (although I think the list runs out of gas after No. 11):

1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

3. Bozone: The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

4. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

5. Cashtration: The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

6. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

7. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.

8. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

9. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate’s disease. (This one got extra credit.)

11. Karmageddon: It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.

12. Decafalon: The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

13. Glibido: All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic fit: The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.

16. Beelzebug: Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor: The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.

18. Ignoranus: A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.